A Wall of Light - Edeet Ravel [31]
Finally it’s Wake-Up. Mummy does the Wake-Up. She has a garland for my hair but it turns out I don’t have a dress. Shoshana was supposed to bring me a dress from the laundry but she forgot so Mummy goes to find me one. Daddy brings a cake and candles. Mummy comes back with a pretty dress with tiny pink dots that stick out. It’s a little small on me but I don’t mind.
I light the candles with the good-luck candle. Everyone sings happy birthday. I blow out the candles and Mummy and Daddy lift my chair up six times. Mummy gives all the children a slice of cake and then they run to visit their parents.
We leave too. Mummy carries the rest of the cake to the Room so my brother David can have some too.
My birthday last year was in Camp Bilu’im. I don’t remember a thing about it.
Celebration
Dori
Shoshana says she’s going to read us a bedtime story if we’re good. We brush our teeth and pee and get into our pyjamas. Shoshana sits on a chair between the bedrooms so everyone can hear. We can’t see her but we hear her voice. I wonder why her voice is always hoarse. Most people only have a hoarse voice when they have a cold.
The story is about a girl who finds out that her Group is moving into a new Children’s House. She likes the old Children’s House so she gets some paint and paints it and then it looks like new and the children don’t have to move. I don’t know how anyone can write such a boring story.
The only good thing about the story is the girl’s name—Rakefet.41 That’s my favourite flower and my favourite thing in the world. When I see one in a field I get full of happiness. Come to think of it, we haven’t had a Hike in a while. Just to the chicken coop and back. No one even likes the chicken coop. It’s very crowded and noisy and if you go inside with blood from a cut the chickens attack you and try to kill you.
After Shoshana leaves I feel like talking in English. Skye knows English from when she was in Boston. I say Skye do you want to talk in English? Skye says yes. I say how are you? She says fine how are you? I say I am not happy. Skye says why you are not happy? I say because the story was not good. Skye says yes it was not good. I’m getting tired of English. My brain isn’t used to it any more. I say good-night Skye and Skye says goodnight Dori.
The other children are jealous that we talked in English. I know it isn’t nice. I want to be nice all the time but I can’t.
Our First Year
8 March 1949. Our library is now open for business in its temporary quarters in a vaulted room in the two-storey building of Eldar’s former mukhtar, or village chief. It’s already one of the most popular spots in the kibbutz.
Dori
It’s really quiet tonight. Really really quiet. I don’t feel good. There’s a song about this feeling—
In the dark a lone cat howls
Midnight trees softly shake
A fog drifts in from the sea
Only Anokhi is still awake
It’s a lonely song with a lonely tune. In the black art book there’s a man who reminds me of Anokhi.42 He’s walking in a swamp with a walking stick and holding his coat shut and there’s a mysterious light behind him. When when when is Mummy or Daddy coming to kiss me goodnight?
Here she is here she is! I feel bad for the other children. They probably feel sick too but in their case they have to go on feeling sick until they fall asleep.
Mummy says I’m so tired sweetie I’m falling asleep on my feet so just a quick kiss tonight. She kisses me and says Dori are you sure you still need these goodnight visits now that you’re such a big girl? I get very scared when she says that. I shout yes yes I still need them and she says don’t worry—no one is going to tell me what to do. I knew she wouldn’t stop. Not until I say.
I don’t ask for a rhyme but she tells me one anyhow. She chooses the shortest rhyme she knows—
Up and down
Left and right
I like to fly my kite
It’s a baby rhyme but who cares. At least she came. I feel better now.
Our First Year
13 March 1949. The bus made its first run