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A Wall of Light - Edeet Ravel [36]

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own food on Eldar.

We say hello and he says hello back. Gilead asks how come your teeth are yellow? The man says because I don’t brush them. Gilead asks how come you don’t brush them? but he doesn’t answer.

It’s very hot and we start getting thirsty. We decide to go back to the Children’s House for the Wake-Up snack. We’re a bit scared now.

Fortunately Simon’s mother is doing the Wake-Up today. She doesn’t care that we ran away. Everyone says we’re going to tell Shoshana. I’m a little worried about that.

Our First Year

8 April 1949. A movie this evening, but without sound. We got the idea that Rita Hayworth was a very naughty girl and that somebody was trying to kill somebody. A number of people became quite enthusiastic and elaborate in ad libbing the sound track. Unfortunately we don’t seem to have much control over the films we will be receiving in the future (our machine will arrive shortly), and we anticipate cinematographic torture.

Dori

We’re being wild during naptime. We’re getting out of our beds and running around and laughing. Lulu comes to visit from the other bedroom.

We thought Shoshana was gone but here she is. She goes from bed to bed and hits us one by one.

But I trick her. I pretend to cry before it hurts. As soon as I cry she stops and moves on to Elan.

The only person she doesn’t hit is Skye. That’s because Skye didn’t leave her bed. That way as soon as Shoshana came in she could pretend she was asleep. I told you Skye was smart.

Shoshana never hit me before. She’s afraid of Daddy. I’m surprised she took a chance this time.44

Baby Diary

July 13

I’m very depressed because of her rash. It’s on her face, ears, head, forehead, it’s horrible. I decided she wouldn’t get a bottle with cow’s milk for her sixth feeding if she wakes up. Maybe the milk is causing the rash.

Dori

On the way to the Room I see a new girl near the swings. She’s smaller than me and her face and neck are covered with scars. I’m not sure if she’s coming to live here or just visiting. Someone said her scars are from boiling water but someone else said she was born with them.

I want to be nice to her so I tell her she can sit on the swing and I’ll push. I think she’s only visiting because she’s wearing a pleated skirt with red and black squares. Eldar doesn’t have those kind of skirts.

She sits on the swing and I push her but then my shoelace gets undone so I say just a second and I bend down to tie it. She lifts the swing and pushes it as hard as she can. The swing hits me right on my forehead and I fall backwards. The little girl runs away. Hard to believe but she did it on purpose.

I have tears in my eyes because of how much my forehead hurts but I decide not to cry. I could cry but I’m not going to.

Transcript of Meeting May 1961

Topic:

Status of Naftali

Chair:

Isaac Milman

Isaac:

I want to make it clear first of all that I was pressured

into putting this on the agenda by a relentless campaign

on the part of several of our younger members,45 but I

do not support the topic—I reject it entirely. I feel it’s

harassment, and I’m informing everyone in advance

that if the vote goes against Naftali I’m resigning from

the Secretariat and possibly taking more drastic steps.

A group of seven members—Tamir, Oded, Nurit, Yael,

Emanuel, Katzi and Ora—claim that “Naftali had a

four-month leave and stayed in Canada nearly two years

and therefore should be demoted to candidacy status.”

Varda:

[Bursts into tears.]

Naftali:

I have nothing to contribute to this discussion. Neither

does Varda. Come on, Varda, let’s go.

[They leave.]

Yael:

I’m sorry, but everyone is expected to follow the rules

that we all agreed on as a group. Naftali broke the rules

unilaterally.

Tamir:

If he’s allowed to come and go as he pleases, then the

voting procedure is meaningless.

Oded:

It’s not as if there was even a reason. He wanted to write

a novel. That is entirely against everything we believe in.

Martin:

When exactly did we stop believing

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