A Wall of Light - Edeet Ravel [48]
Because last week he noticed my slippers in the Children’s House. He looked at them and said angrily are these your slippers? He was disgusted that they were falling apart. I don’t know why. I like falling-apart slippers.
As soon as he leaves everyone decides to hate me. It’s my turn to be hated. Every child gets a turn it seems.
When it was Skye we all sang—
Hanan and Elsa went out to the field
Hanan was the shepherd and Elsa the sheep
Meh meh meh meh meh meh
Meh meh meh meh meh meh
It’s supposed to be Hanan and Aliza but we changed it because Skye’s parents are called Hanan and Elsa. Skye acted like she didn’t care. I don’t know if she was pretending or if she really didn’t care.
Now everyone sings—
The sun is shining gold and red
Naftali has a big bald head
instead of—
The sun is shining gold and red
And plum trees blossom overhead
but it doesn’t hurt me because there’s nothing wrong with being bald. Being hated hurts me but not the song about Daddy. Even being hated isn’t so bad. It’s because of the slippers.
After our shower when I go to put on my new slippers there’s a squished banana inside. They finally hurt me.
Shoshana cleans the banana out with a rag and tells us to get into bed.
I didn’t even want new slippers.
Late Night Confessions
“By age eleven we were so wild and out of control that it became a game with us, seeing how long it would take for our latest Minder to lose it. We celebrated when we finally succeeded. We drove one Minder after another to a nervous breakdown.”
—Yair Miron
Dori
It’s getting cold at night. We have grey blankets to keep us warm.
Mummy comes to kiss me goodnight. I tell her about the banana in my slipper and she says I’m sorry as if it’s her fault.
She does that a lot. On the ship there was a storm and we all began to throw up. It was the fault of the waves but Mummy kept saying I’m sorry.
Another time it really was her fault but it was a mistake. I had a cold and Mummy put medicine from a blue jar on my chest. But she didn’t know the medicines in Canada and she put too much and my chest began to burn as if I had a fire in there. I kept yelling water water and she kept running to bring me more water saying I’m sorry I’m sorry but it was a mistake.
Just before Sara was born Mummy burnt both her hands. She forgot a pot was hot and she put her hands around it. The doctor gave her cream that looked like throw-up and she lay in bed with the cream on her hands and a blue lamp on her leg. My brother David pinched his nose and said ugh that looks like throw-up. He ran into Mummy’s bedroom from the door on one side of her bed and out the door on the other side of her bed saying ugh ugh and pinching his nose. It was funny so I began running too saying ugh ugh and pinching my nose and then we both ran in circles around Mummy’s bed laughing and pinching our nose and Mummy laughed too. Finally Daddy told us to stop because Mummy had to rest.
There was a rainstorm when Mummy went to the hospital to have Sara. Daddy had to hold the umbrella for Mummy so she could get to the taxi without getting wet but the wind ruined the umbrella. I saw it all from the living-room window. So I wasn’t surprised when they brought the baby back from the hospital and said her name was Sara.52
Our First Year
17 August 1949. Our Arab agricultural advisor from Kitlish was here today, looking over our vines and advising us when and how to harvest.
Dori
Shoshana says we have to line up for a teaspoon of cod liver oil and then we’ll get a candy.
We don’t want to line up. We have a bad feeling about this cod liver oil.
When my turn comes I can’t even believe that anything so horrible exists in this world. I feel I’m going to throw up but I grab the candy and put it in my mouth.
The candy doesn’t help Elan. He swallows the cod liver oil and right away he throws up. Shoshana gets mad and makes him take it again and he throws up again.