A Woman-Hater [176]
Come, tell me."
"Then the truth is, Lord Uxmoor has renewed his attention to me."
"Ah!"
"He has been here every day."
Severne groaned.
"Aunt Maitland was on his side, and spoke so kindly to me, and he saved my life from a furious bull. He is brave, noble, good, and he loves me. I have committed myself. I cannot draw back with honor."
"But from me you can, because I am poor and hated, and have no title. If you are committed to him, you are engaged to me."
"I am; so now I can go neither way. If I had poison, I would take it this moment, and end all."
"For God's sake, don't talk so. I am sure you exaggerate. You cannot, in those few days, have pledged your faith to another. Let me see your finger. Ah! there's my ring on it still: bless you, my own darling Zoe--bless you;" and he covered her hand with kisses, and bedewed it with his ever-ready tears.
The girl began to melt, and all power to ooze out of her, mind and body. She sighed deeply and said, "What can I do--I don't say with honor and credit, but with decency. What _can_ I do?"
"Tell me, first, what you have said to him that you consider so compromising."
Zoe, with many sighs, replied: "I believe--I said--I was unhappy. And so I was. And I owned--that I admired--and esteemed him. And so I do. And then of course he wanted more, and I could not give more; and he asked might he try and make me love him; and--I said--I am afraid I said--he might, if he could."
"And a very proper answer, too."
"Ah! but I said he might come every day. It is idle to deceive ourselves: I have encouraged his addresses. I can do nothing now with credit but die, or go into a convent."
"When did you say this?"
"This very day."
"Then he has never acted on it."
"No, but he will. He will be here tomorrow for certain."
"Then your course is plain. You must choose to-night between him and me. You must dismiss him by letter, or me upon this spot. I have not much fortune to offer you, and no coronet; but I love you, and you have seen me reject a lovely and accomplished woman, whom I esteem as much as you do this lord. Reject him? Why, you have seen me fling her away from me like a dog sooner than leave you in a moment's doubt of my love: if you cannot write a civil note declining an earl for me, your love in not worthy of mine, and I will begone with my love. I will not take it to Mademoiselle Klosking, though I esteem her as you do this lord; but, at all events, I will take it away from you, and leave you my curse instead, for a false, fickle girl that could not wait one little month, but must fall, with her engaged ring on her finger, into another man's arms. Oh, Zoe! Zoe! who could have believed this of you?"
"Don't reproach _me._ I won't bear it," she cried, wildly.
"I hope not to have to reproach you," said he, firmly; "I cannot conceive your hesitating."
"I am worn out. Love has been too great a torment. Oh, if I could find peace!"
Again her tears flowed.
He put on a sympathizing air. "You shall have peace. Dismiss _him_ as I tell you, and he will trouble you no more; shake hands with me, and say you prefer _him,_ and I will trouble you no more. But with two lovers, peace is out of the question, and so is self-respect. I know I could not vacillate between you and Mademoiselle Klosking or any other woman."
"Ah, Edward, if I do this, you ought to love me very dearly."
"I shall. Better than ever--if possible."
"And never make me jealous again."
"I never shall, dearest. Our troubles are over."
"Edward, I have been very unhappy. I could not bear these doubts again."
"You shall never be unhappy again."
"I must do what you require, I suppose. That is how it always ends. Oh dear! oh dear!"
"Zoe, it must be done. You know it must."
"I warn you I shall do it as kindly as I can."
"Of course you will. You ought to."
"I must go in now. I feel very cold."
"How soon to-morrow will you meet me here?"
"When you please," said she, languidly.
"At ten o'clock?"
"Yes."
Then there was a tender parting, and
"Then the truth is, Lord Uxmoor has renewed his attention to me."
"Ah!"
"He has been here every day."
Severne groaned.
"Aunt Maitland was on his side, and spoke so kindly to me, and he saved my life from a furious bull. He is brave, noble, good, and he loves me. I have committed myself. I cannot draw back with honor."
"But from me you can, because I am poor and hated, and have no title. If you are committed to him, you are engaged to me."
"I am; so now I can go neither way. If I had poison, I would take it this moment, and end all."
"For God's sake, don't talk so. I am sure you exaggerate. You cannot, in those few days, have pledged your faith to another. Let me see your finger. Ah! there's my ring on it still: bless you, my own darling Zoe--bless you;" and he covered her hand with kisses, and bedewed it with his ever-ready tears.
The girl began to melt, and all power to ooze out of her, mind and body. She sighed deeply and said, "What can I do--I don't say with honor and credit, but with decency. What _can_ I do?"
"Tell me, first, what you have said to him that you consider so compromising."
Zoe, with many sighs, replied: "I believe--I said--I was unhappy. And so I was. And I owned--that I admired--and esteemed him. And so I do. And then of course he wanted more, and I could not give more; and he asked might he try and make me love him; and--I said--I am afraid I said--he might, if he could."
"And a very proper answer, too."
"Ah! but I said he might come every day. It is idle to deceive ourselves: I have encouraged his addresses. I can do nothing now with credit but die, or go into a convent."
"When did you say this?"
"This very day."
"Then he has never acted on it."
"No, but he will. He will be here tomorrow for certain."
"Then your course is plain. You must choose to-night between him and me. You must dismiss him by letter, or me upon this spot. I have not much fortune to offer you, and no coronet; but I love you, and you have seen me reject a lovely and accomplished woman, whom I esteem as much as you do this lord. Reject him? Why, you have seen me fling her away from me like a dog sooner than leave you in a moment's doubt of my love: if you cannot write a civil note declining an earl for me, your love in not worthy of mine, and I will begone with my love. I will not take it to Mademoiselle Klosking, though I esteem her as you do this lord; but, at all events, I will take it away from you, and leave you my curse instead, for a false, fickle girl that could not wait one little month, but must fall, with her engaged ring on her finger, into another man's arms. Oh, Zoe! Zoe! who could have believed this of you?"
"Don't reproach _me._ I won't bear it," she cried, wildly.
"I hope not to have to reproach you," said he, firmly; "I cannot conceive your hesitating."
"I am worn out. Love has been too great a torment. Oh, if I could find peace!"
Again her tears flowed.
He put on a sympathizing air. "You shall have peace. Dismiss _him_ as I tell you, and he will trouble you no more; shake hands with me, and say you prefer _him,_ and I will trouble you no more. But with two lovers, peace is out of the question, and so is self-respect. I know I could not vacillate between you and Mademoiselle Klosking or any other woman."
"Ah, Edward, if I do this, you ought to love me very dearly."
"I shall. Better than ever--if possible."
"And never make me jealous again."
"I never shall, dearest. Our troubles are over."
"Edward, I have been very unhappy. I could not bear these doubts again."
"You shall never be unhappy again."
"I must do what you require, I suppose. That is how it always ends. Oh dear! oh dear!"
"Zoe, it must be done. You know it must."
"I warn you I shall do it as kindly as I can."
"Of course you will. You ought to."
"I must go in now. I feel very cold."
"How soon to-morrow will you meet me here?"
"When you please," said she, languidly.
"At ten o'clock?"
"Yes."
Then there was a tender parting, and