A Woman-Hater [43]
or _the_--?"
"Oh, Harrington," cried Zoe, "fie!"
"My wit is appreciated at its value. Proceed, Ned."
Severne told him, a little defiantly, it was an old gentleman, with a noble head, a silvery beard, and the most benevolent countenance he ever saw.
"Curious place for his reverence to be in," hazarded Vizard.
"He saw me betting, first on the black, then on the red, till I was cleaned out, and then he beckoned me."
"Not a man of premature advice anyway."
"He told me he had observed my play. I had been relying on the alternations of the colors, which alternation chance persistently avoids, and arrives at equality by runs. He then gave me a better system."
"And, having expounded his system, he illustrated it? Tell the truth now; he sat down and lost the coat off his back? It followed his family acres."
"You are quite wrong again. He never plays. He has heart-disease, and his physician has forbidden him all excitement."
"His nation?"
"Humph! French."
"Ah! the nation that produced _'Le philosophe sans le savoir.'_ And now it has added, _'Le philosophe sans le vouloir,'_ and you have stumbled on him. What a life for an aged man! _Fortunatus ille senex qui ludicola vivit._ Tantalus handcuffed and glowering over a gambling-table; a hell in a hell."
"Oh, Harrington!--"
"Exclamations not allowed in sober argument, Zoe."
"Come, Ned, it is not heart-disease, it is purse disease. Just do me a favor. Here are five sovereigns; give those to the old beggar, and let him risk them."
"I could hardly take such a liberty with an old gentleman of his age and appearance--a man of honor too, and high sentiments. Why, I'd bet seven to four he is one of Napoleon's old soldiers."
The ladies sided unanimously with Severne. "What! offer a _vieux de l'Empire_ five pounds? Oh, fie!"
"Fiddle-dee-dee!" said the indomitable Vizard. "Besides, he will do it with his usual grace. He will approach the son of Mars with that feigned humility which sits so well on youth, and ask him, as a personal favor, to invest five pounds for him at _rouge-et-noir._ The old soldier will stiffen into double dignity at first, then give him a low wink, and end by sitting down and gambling. He will be cautious at starting, as one who opens trenches for the siege of Mammon; but soon the veteran will get heated, and give battle; he will fancy himself at Jena, since the croupiers are Prussians. If he loses, you cut him dead, being a humdrum Englishman; and if he wins, he cuts you, and pockets the cash, being a Frenchman that talks sentiment."
This sally provoked a laugh, in which Severne joined, and said, "Really, for a landed proprietor, you know a thing or two." He consented at last, with some reluctance, to take the money; and none of the persons present doubted that he would execute the commission with a grace and delicacy all his own. Nevertheless, to run forward a little with the narrative, I must tell you that he never did hand that five pound to the venerable sire; a little thing prevented him--the old man wasn't born yet.
"And now," said Vizard, "it is our last day in Homburg. You are all going to gratify your mania--lunacy is contagious. Suppose I gratify mine."
"Do dear," said Zoe; "and what is it?"
"I like your asking that; when it was publicly announced last night, and I fled discomfited to my balcony, and, in my confusion, lighted a cigar. My mania is--the Klosking."
"That is not a mania; it is good taste. She is admirable."
"Yes, in an opera; but I want to know how she looks and talks in a room; and that is insane of me."
"Then so you _shall,_ insane or not. I will call on her this morning, and take you in my hand."
"What an ample palm! and what juvenile audacity! Zoe, you take my breath away."
"No audacity at all. I am sure of my welcome. How often must I tell you that we have mesmerized each other, that lady and I, and only waiting an opportunity to rush into each other's arms. It began with her singling me out at the opera. But I dare say that was owing, _at first,_ only to my being
"Oh, Harrington," cried Zoe, "fie!"
"My wit is appreciated at its value. Proceed, Ned."
Severne told him, a little defiantly, it was an old gentleman, with a noble head, a silvery beard, and the most benevolent countenance he ever saw.
"Curious place for his reverence to be in," hazarded Vizard.
"He saw me betting, first on the black, then on the red, till I was cleaned out, and then he beckoned me."
"Not a man of premature advice anyway."
"He told me he had observed my play. I had been relying on the alternations of the colors, which alternation chance persistently avoids, and arrives at equality by runs. He then gave me a better system."
"And, having expounded his system, he illustrated it? Tell the truth now; he sat down and lost the coat off his back? It followed his family acres."
"You are quite wrong again. He never plays. He has heart-disease, and his physician has forbidden him all excitement."
"His nation?"
"Humph! French."
"Ah! the nation that produced _'Le philosophe sans le savoir.'_ And now it has added, _'Le philosophe sans le vouloir,'_ and you have stumbled on him. What a life for an aged man! _Fortunatus ille senex qui ludicola vivit._ Tantalus handcuffed and glowering over a gambling-table; a hell in a hell."
"Oh, Harrington!--"
"Exclamations not allowed in sober argument, Zoe."
"Come, Ned, it is not heart-disease, it is purse disease. Just do me a favor. Here are five sovereigns; give those to the old beggar, and let him risk them."
"I could hardly take such a liberty with an old gentleman of his age and appearance--a man of honor too, and high sentiments. Why, I'd bet seven to four he is one of Napoleon's old soldiers."
The ladies sided unanimously with Severne. "What! offer a _vieux de l'Empire_ five pounds? Oh, fie!"
"Fiddle-dee-dee!" said the indomitable Vizard. "Besides, he will do it with his usual grace. He will approach the son of Mars with that feigned humility which sits so well on youth, and ask him, as a personal favor, to invest five pounds for him at _rouge-et-noir._ The old soldier will stiffen into double dignity at first, then give him a low wink, and end by sitting down and gambling. He will be cautious at starting, as one who opens trenches for the siege of Mammon; but soon the veteran will get heated, and give battle; he will fancy himself at Jena, since the croupiers are Prussians. If he loses, you cut him dead, being a humdrum Englishman; and if he wins, he cuts you, and pockets the cash, being a Frenchman that talks sentiment."
This sally provoked a laugh, in which Severne joined, and said, "Really, for a landed proprietor, you know a thing or two." He consented at last, with some reluctance, to take the money; and none of the persons present doubted that he would execute the commission with a grace and delicacy all his own. Nevertheless, to run forward a little with the narrative, I must tell you that he never did hand that five pound to the venerable sire; a little thing prevented him--the old man wasn't born yet.
"And now," said Vizard, "it is our last day in Homburg. You are all going to gratify your mania--lunacy is contagious. Suppose I gratify mine."
"Do dear," said Zoe; "and what is it?"
"I like your asking that; when it was publicly announced last night, and I fled discomfited to my balcony, and, in my confusion, lighted a cigar. My mania is--the Klosking."
"That is not a mania; it is good taste. She is admirable."
"Yes, in an opera; but I want to know how she looks and talks in a room; and that is insane of me."
"Then so you _shall,_ insane or not. I will call on her this morning, and take you in my hand."
"What an ample palm! and what juvenile audacity! Zoe, you take my breath away."
"No audacity at all. I am sure of my welcome. How often must I tell you that we have mesmerized each other, that lady and I, and only waiting an opportunity to rush into each other's arms. It began with her singling me out at the opera. But I dare say that was owing, _at first,_ only to my being