A Woman-Hater [59]
never even entered Zoe's ear. She was too deeply shocked. She went, feebly, and sat down in a chair, and covered her face with her hands.
Fanny eyed her with pity. "There!" said she, almost crying, "I never tell the truth but I bitterly repent it."
Zoe took no notice of this droll apothegm. Her hands began to work. "What shall I do!" she said. "What shall I do!"
"Oh, don't go on like that, Zoe!" cried Fanny. "After all, it is you he prefers. He ran away from her."
"Ah, yes. But why?--why? What has he done?"
"Jilted her. I suppose. Aunt Maitland thinks he is after money; and, you know, you have got money."
"Have I nothing else?" said the proud beauty, and lifted her bowed head for a moment.
"You have everything. But you should look things in the face. Is that singer an unattractive woman?"
"Oh, no. But she is not poor. Her kind of talent is paid enormously."
"That is true," said Fanny. "But perhaps she wastes it. She is a gambler, like himself."
"Let him go to her," said Zoe, wildly; "I will share no man's heart."
"He will never go to her, unless--well, unless we tell him that she has broken the bank with his money."
"If you think so badly of him, tell him, then, and let him go. Oh, I am wretched--I am wretched!" She lifted her hands in despair, and began to cry and sob bitterly.
Fanny was melted at her distress, and knelt to her, and cried with her.
Not being a girl of steady principle, she went round with the wind. "Dear Zoe," said she, "it is deeper than I thought. La! if you love him, why torment yourself?"
"No," said Zoe; "it is deceit and mystery that torment me. Oh, what shall I do! what shall I do!"
Fanny interpreted this vague exclamation of sorrow as asking advice, and said, "I dare not advise you; I can only tell you what I should do in your place. I should make up my mind at once whether I loved the man, or only liked him. If I only liked him, I would turn him up at once."
"Turn him up! What is that?"
"Turn him off, then. If I loved him, I would not let any other woman have the least little bit of a chance to get him. For instance, I would not let him know this old sweetheart of his has won three thousand pounds at least, for I noted her winnings. Diamond cut diamond, my dear. He is concealing from you something or other about him and this Klosking; hide you this one little thing about the Klosking from him, till you get my gentleman safe to England."
"And this is love! I call it warfare."
"And love is warfare, three times out of four. Anyway, it is for you to decide, Zoe. I do wish you had never seen the man. He is not what he seems. He is a poor adventurer, and a bundle of deceit."
"You are very hard on him. You don't know all."
"No, nor a quarter; and you know less. There, dear, dry your eyes and fight against it. After all, you know you are mistress of the situation. I'll settle it for you, which way you like."
"You will? Oh, Fanny, you are very good!"
"Say indulgent, please. I'm not good, and never will be, if _I can possibly help._ I despise good people; they are as weak as water. But I do like you, Zoe Vizard, better than any other woman in the world. That is not saying very much; my taste is for men. I think them gods and devils compared with us; and I do admire gods and devils. No matter, dear. Kiss me, and say, 'Fanny, act for me,' and I'll do it."
Zoe kissed her, and then, by a truly virginal impulse, hid her burning face in her hands, and said nothing at all.
Fanny gave her plenty of time, and then said, kindly, "Well, dear?"
Then Zoe murmured, scarce audibly, "Act--_as if_--I loved him."
And still she kept her face covered with her hands. Fanny was anything but surprised at this conclusion of the struggle. She said, with a certain alacrity, "Very well, I will: so now bathe your eyes and come in to supper."
"No, no; please go and make an excuse for me."
"I shall do nothing of the kind. I won't be told by-and-by I have done wrong. I will do your business, but it shall be in your hearing. Then you can interfere,
Fanny eyed her with pity. "There!" said she, almost crying, "I never tell the truth but I bitterly repent it."
Zoe took no notice of this droll apothegm. Her hands began to work. "What shall I do!" she said. "What shall I do!"
"Oh, don't go on like that, Zoe!" cried Fanny. "After all, it is you he prefers. He ran away from her."
"Ah, yes. But why?--why? What has he done?"
"Jilted her. I suppose. Aunt Maitland thinks he is after money; and, you know, you have got money."
"Have I nothing else?" said the proud beauty, and lifted her bowed head for a moment.
"You have everything. But you should look things in the face. Is that singer an unattractive woman?"
"Oh, no. But she is not poor. Her kind of talent is paid enormously."
"That is true," said Fanny. "But perhaps she wastes it. She is a gambler, like himself."
"Let him go to her," said Zoe, wildly; "I will share no man's heart."
"He will never go to her, unless--well, unless we tell him that she has broken the bank with his money."
"If you think so badly of him, tell him, then, and let him go. Oh, I am wretched--I am wretched!" She lifted her hands in despair, and began to cry and sob bitterly.
Fanny was melted at her distress, and knelt to her, and cried with her.
Not being a girl of steady principle, she went round with the wind. "Dear Zoe," said she, "it is deeper than I thought. La! if you love him, why torment yourself?"
"No," said Zoe; "it is deceit and mystery that torment me. Oh, what shall I do! what shall I do!"
Fanny interpreted this vague exclamation of sorrow as asking advice, and said, "I dare not advise you; I can only tell you what I should do in your place. I should make up my mind at once whether I loved the man, or only liked him. If I only liked him, I would turn him up at once."
"Turn him up! What is that?"
"Turn him off, then. If I loved him, I would not let any other woman have the least little bit of a chance to get him. For instance, I would not let him know this old sweetheart of his has won three thousand pounds at least, for I noted her winnings. Diamond cut diamond, my dear. He is concealing from you something or other about him and this Klosking; hide you this one little thing about the Klosking from him, till you get my gentleman safe to England."
"And this is love! I call it warfare."
"And love is warfare, three times out of four. Anyway, it is for you to decide, Zoe. I do wish you had never seen the man. He is not what he seems. He is a poor adventurer, and a bundle of deceit."
"You are very hard on him. You don't know all."
"No, nor a quarter; and you know less. There, dear, dry your eyes and fight against it. After all, you know you are mistress of the situation. I'll settle it for you, which way you like."
"You will? Oh, Fanny, you are very good!"
"Say indulgent, please. I'm not good, and never will be, if _I can possibly help._ I despise good people; they are as weak as water. But I do like you, Zoe Vizard, better than any other woman in the world. That is not saying very much; my taste is for men. I think them gods and devils compared with us; and I do admire gods and devils. No matter, dear. Kiss me, and say, 'Fanny, act for me,' and I'll do it."
Zoe kissed her, and then, by a truly virginal impulse, hid her burning face in her hands, and said nothing at all.
Fanny gave her plenty of time, and then said, kindly, "Well, dear?"
Then Zoe murmured, scarce audibly, "Act--_as if_--I loved him."
And still she kept her face covered with her hands. Fanny was anything but surprised at this conclusion of the struggle. She said, with a certain alacrity, "Very well, I will: so now bathe your eyes and come in to supper."
"No, no; please go and make an excuse for me."
"I shall do nothing of the kind. I won't be told by-and-by I have done wrong. I will do your business, but it shall be in your hearing. Then you can interfere,