Across the Mersey - Annie Groves [121]
Just as she had been at school; just as she was now at the Tennis Club.
That was ridiculous. She had been the most popular girl at school and the prettiest, just as she was at the Tennis Club. And as for being an outsider, this was her home.
She walked down the hall and pushed open the kitchen door. They were sitting round the kitchen table, with the back door open to let in the sunshine and the fresh air. There was a bottle of wine on the table and three now almost empty glasses, and the air was rich with the smell of something cooking that was alien and spicy.
The mother looked apprehensive when she saw her, but the other two simply looked at her. Both of them were smoking, and Bettina’s expression was both mocking and defiant, whilst Jan’s somehow made her feel … Bella didn’t know really what she actually felt but she knew that she hated it just as much as she hated him.
She was still furious that despite her refusal to allow him to stay he had done so. When she had complained to Alan about it when he had eventually come in he had simply shrugged and ignored her.
Bella wasn’t used to having her wishes ignored and nor was she used to feeling helpless.
‘Cigarette?’
The drawled offer caught her off guard. She looked down at the packet Jan was extending towards her. His fingers were long and lean, and something about them quickened her heartbeat although she had no idea why.
Without answering him, Bella turned on her heel and left the kitchen.
Halfway up the stairs she heard the sound of his laughter following her and mocking her.
Alone in her bedroom she lay down on the bed. Her head was swimming and she felt dreadfully tired. For the first time in her life as she lay on her bed, listening to the sound of voices and laughter drifting upstairs, Bella knew what it was to feel completely alone and isolated from other people. A feeling, a mixture of panic and fear and sickness, curdled in her stomach. What was the matter with her? She was a married woman with a husband, parents, an extended family of aunt, uncle, and cousins, whilst those three downstairs were refugees with nothing. How could they laugh? How could they possibly be happier than she was? They certainly had no right to be. If she wasn’t feeling so dreadfully and uncharacteristically tired she would have gone downstairs to the kitchen and told them so.
‘We had two amputations in the theatre this morning, but we aren’t getting anything like as many road accidents now that we’re back to double summer time,’ said Hannah tiredly as she sank into a chair opposite Grace, who had been making the most of having their sitting room to herself to write up her notes on the new patients admitted to the ward. She would be on nights herself again soon and Night Sister expected the junior nurse to accompany her on her ward round and to know off by heart each patient’s condition, symptoms and treatment.
‘Did you hear about those girls from the barrage balloon site?’ asked Hannah. When Grace shook her head, Hannah explained, ‘It seems they decided to have a bit of a night out, seeing as things seemed quiet, only when they got back the balloon had broken loose. Now, as punishment, the whole lot of them have been sent up to some remote island off Scotland.’
‘Oh, poor things,’ Grace sympathised.
‘Never mind poor things. If you ask me it serves then right,’ Hannah contradicted her robustly. ‘That’s the trouble with you, Grace, you’re far too sympathetic. It won’t do in a nurse, you know,’ she joked, adding, ‘Mind you, I suppose you’re still worrying about Teddy.’
‘Yes. I am,’ Grace agreed, ‘and not just about him.’ She closed her exercise book and leaned forward, interlinking her fingers and looking down at them as she rested her forearms on her crossed knees. ‘I keep thinking about what’s going to happen to him and I can’t help wondering if I ought … well, that is to say …’
‘You mean he’s asked you to go all the way with him?’ guessed Hannah immediately.
‘No, no, he