Aftermath - Ann Aguirre [48]
“The civil suits have begun.”
I can’t say I’m surprised. Ramona left me a fortune, and the families who lost children because of me want some form of recompense. They’ll ask some incredible amount, and the judges will likely pare it down before demanding I pay up. It’s not that I mind giving them the credits, but on some level, I feel as though they’re cheapening their loss. I shouldn’t be able to buy expiation as though it were an indulgence sold by a corrupt priest. They can take everything I inherited, and it won’t touch the stain on my conscience.
“How much?”
He names a sum that would’ve made me dizzy once. But since I received Ramona’s empire, my sense of scale has ratcheted up. I nod. “I don’t want to contest. Just settle with them.”
“That will encourage the others to apply for their shares.”
“I don’t care,” I say simply. “I never wanted her credits, knowing how she earned them. If I run cash poor, there are assets we can sell off.”
Vel has been acting as my business manager. Given his long life span, he has a personal fortune that rivals my mother’s, so if anyone knows what to do with extra credits, it’s him. He’s managed to squirrel away certain of my dividends into untouchable, interest-bearing accounts, so I’ll never be completely destitute even if I give away most of my wealth.
“What would you like to liquidate first?”
Right now nobody will buy the devastated land on Venice Minor, which leaves the mining colony on the asteroid Dobrinya, and part of a moon. I don’t know what mineral resources the moon might possess; as yet, it’s undeveloped.
“Dobrinya,” I decide aloud. “Uranium is worth a good deal in today’s market.”
“Noted. I’ll start seeking offers.”
By the time it’s necessary, he will have identified the most advantageous deal.
As we walk, he taps on his handheld, authorizing the civil settlement. I chafe at the obligation to wrap up all the loose ends here, but I have five more meetings today, setting up a hierarchy in the training program. Someone has to take responsibility after I’m gone, as I am damn sure not spending my life here.
“Have you found a ship?”
We plan to leave for Gehenna as soon as possible. Realistically speaking, it will be another week before I can break away, but I want all the pieces in place before I make my escape.
“Dina found one that the owner was ready to scrap, so we got it for a bargain.”
I nod. “She prefers to do all her own maintenance anyway.”
It’s not like she would trust a brand-new ship. She would still go over every millimeter of it, and replace half the parts with her own mods. I must admit, I rather love seeing what she can do with a vessel everyone else has given up on. In fact, maybe that’s why she sticks by me.
“I would not fly on it were anyone else doing the restoration.” He bestows the highest of compliments, there.
“How big is it?”
“It will take eight people, comfortably. Not including pilot and jumper.”
“Small crew quarters, I take it?”
“Miniscule.”
“Then it’s just as well we won’t be on it long.”
Mary, but I’m dying to jump. It feels like I’ve been grounded forever, and I am losing my mind slowly. It was bad in prison, but there, I knew I had no choice. So I sublimated my need in constant exercise. Here, I function as the school administrator, and I have no outlet for the junkie cravings boiling in my brain. I long to travel to Marakeq and try to make right the damage I’ve done. Perhaps I never can, but I will think less of myself if I don’t try, and I need every scrap of self-esteem these days.
Every day, waking up feels like I’m strapping on lead boots and daring myself not to sink beneath the dark, dark water. I run in place, and I pretend, but it’s not getting better. Only time will do that, at least according to Vel. He says it like a promise, so I live for the day, maybe fifty turns from now, when I don’t feel sick over what I’ve done.
Gehenna first, though. Vel and I have unfinished business there. He will want to visit Adele—as the last time, she said