Aftermath - Ann Aguirre [86]
More and more back then, I felt like I was losing my mind. It got harder and harder to push everything back, focus on what came from my own head instead of everywhere else. Pure will let me do it that time, but I didn’t know how much longer that would hold.
Dammit, I hoped to buy more time. With no hesitation, I gave another silent signal, telling my men to scatter. Four of them vanished immediately. Only Surge hesitated, then he, too, melted into the thick tangle of undergrowth. We had a greater chance of reaching civilization separately.
Some people might say I abandoned them, sending them off as bait to better my own chances. Well, that would be true, too. I crept through the trees, pausing here and there to listen. Distant laser fire and screams of pain came to me on the wind. I recognized the voice. Franken, down, but it sounded like he’d taken a few Ja-Win with him.
In a way, I wished I hadn’t taken credits from Pilatu. The mercenary code prevented me from killing the guy for being an idiot; otherwise, I’d never get work again.
Shit, movement nearby. I dropped to my belly and stilled. The thoughts that filled my head then could scarcely be called that, more impulses, urges. Hunger. Food. Not food. I lay there, hardly daring to breathe. A marsh cat. That thing would rake out my intestines and eat them without a second thought. I avoided it narrowly, sensing the animal’s fierce hunger moving off, becoming distant, then vanishing as it moved outside my range.
I only encountered one enemy on my way out of Ja-Win territory. Bad luck for him, the merc was facing the other way. I could have shot him in the back, but I didn’t want the noise. A mental lance through the guy’s frontal lobe solved the problem. The man’s expression went slack as he dropped face-first into the mud. Most likely he’d drown before his unit found him. Doubtless it would be kinder to snap his neck, but I wasn’t feeling kind, so I stepped over the body and onto the road.
Hours later, I finally reached the place where I’d hidden a rover in case things went bad. On Nicu Tertius, you had to have a backup plan.
Empty.
“Son of a bitch.” I stared down the muddy track. In some ways, I preferred being out in the middle of nowhere. It left my mind quiet at least, devoid of the pain that had become a constant companion.
Well, there was no help for it. I’d have to walk.
I stayed to the trees, dodging Ja-Win patrols looking for survivors making their way on foot. More than once, they forced me to my belly and left me wishing I had the mental power to blast them all at once. Their thoughts bombarded me: some banal, some vengeful, some so vapid I was amazed the asshole could hold a weapon.
Damn, but I’d love to see them drop at the same time, drooling and brain-damaged. But if I hit one, they’d snap alert and start looking for their attacker, even if they didn’t understand how I’d killed. With a soft sigh, I let them pass unmolested and resumed my journey.
It took me all night to reach a village, where I could hire an autocab to take me to the city. By the time I got to my flat, I was ready to blow the shit out of the entire planet. My head felt like molten metal, searing with the effort of trying to block when I was so tired. I wasn’t very good at it at the best of times, and I never hated anything the way I did Nicu Tertius.
With shaking hands, I shot myself full of painkiller. That chemical cocktail balanced the crazy in my head, kept things quiet. The bad news? It was hellishly addictive, and the more I used, the more I wanted. Chem would kill me if this lifestyle didn’t. But I couldn’t shoot up when I worked. It slowed my reflexes too much.
I leaned my head against the wall, no windows in here where people could get to me. My place was functional, nothing more, a one-room convenience in a high-rise. With a job like mine, I needed the security. It would take a small army to get up