Agaat - Marlene van Niekerk [296]
28 June 1956
Last night a squabble with Jak again because apparently I’m spending too much time & money on A. Should never have shown him the cloth I bought. Red for a party dress for hr birthday in two weeks’ time. He says he doesn’t want a cake-gobbling here again it always just leads to unpleasantness & he’s tired of answering people’s questions about it. He says people ask him if Agaat addresses him as baas or pa or uncle. So now I teach her I’m nooi Milla & Jak is Mr de Wet. But she forgets, she still calls me Même when she’s glad or excited, & Jak of course will have nothing but baas.
10 November 1956
She remains self-conscious about the little arm. It’s too hot in summer for long sleeves but she won’t wear short-sleeved dresses & you can’t really have the child walk around with just one long sleeve.
15 November 1956
Found a solution at last. From fine crochet-cotton crocheted a pretty little jersey to wear over hr dresses, the right-hand sleeve is longer & with a cuff that covers half the little hand. Looks as if she’ll wear it like that. White ribbons in the hair as well. I make hr stand in front of the mirror. Now you look just like a snowflake I say.
18 November 1956
Crawled into bed with A. again last night & slept till the morning Jak leaves me just like that when he’s done & he’s not satisfied till I scream he’s hurting me as if that will do any good. Woke up in the early morning with A. crept up completely into me when I got up she woke up half-asleep still: I can whistle like the birds do you know? kokkewiet & johnny hangman & dikkop all of them.
22 November 1956
Got a bright idea from an old book for A.’s hair. I usually keep it cut short but can’t manage the woolly head all that well. So then we sat for hours in the backyard in the shade against the wall & I plaited her hair in little strings flat against the scalp but I couldn’t get it regular & in straight lines as in the picture. Must take a lot of practice like basket-weaving. So then the kitchen-girls laughed at the result: Now mies has just got Agaat white & then she tries to turn her into a Transkei kaffir-girl & then A. heard it & ran away when she saw herself in the mirror the fat was really in the fire & I had to undo it all & it took much longer than the plaiting itself because by now everything was properly knotted & it pulled & Agaat screamed like a banshee. A whole palaver. I suppose it’s better just to wash it every day with Johnson’s baby shampoo at least one knows it’s clean.
10 February 1957
Went to collect old arithmetic books from the school day before yesterday to work through. She multiplies & divides like anything & recites her tables to 6, not all that far behind the standard twos in town. Have started teaching hr notes & simple scales just for the one hand. The other one’s fingers can still not open all that well. We play simple tunes together I play the right hand. Must say I enjoy it tremendously. Jak says teach an ape to play chopsticks today & tomorrow he plays chop-chop with your head.
24 February 1957
Took A. up into Luipaardskloof to the bat cave she’s very fascinated by a mouse that can fly creepy & smelly the place & the swarms wheeling about our heads A. just wants to stay to look & asks how do they hang how do they sleep why do they squeak like that. Managed with great difficulty to get hold of one. Could show hr nicely the membrane between the spokes & the big ear for receiving the bounced-back squeaking sounds & the pig-like little snout-beak.
23 March 1957
Unpacked my old music books & started practising again after all these years, little Bach partitas & the old evergreens that aren’t too difficult to play. Liebestraum, Song Without Words, Largo. Gives me quite a new lease on life.
A. can’t get enough of music. Play hr Pa’s old records on the wind-up