Alex Kava Bundle - Alex Kava [235]
It was time to see how easily she could be shocked.
“It really is quite simple. I want to be able to enjoy fucking a woman again.”
She blinked and her light complexion flushed slightly, but she didn’t move. It was a bit of a letdown. Maybe he should go ahead and add that he wanted to enjoy fucking a woman without wanting to fuck her to death. His new habit really wasn’t much different than many of those in the animal and insect world. Perhaps he should compare his sexual habits to those of the female praying mantis who bites off her mate’s head just as he is beginning to copulate.
Would she understand that the orgasm, the erotic surge was incredibly powerful when it included pain? Should he confess that seeing his women smeared in blood and screaming for mercy made him come in an orgasmic explosion like none he could achieve otherwise? Could she understand that this hideous thing inside threatened to take away the foundation of his being, his last primal instinct?
But no, he wouldn’t share any of this with her—that would probably be a bit much. That was something Albert Stucky would do or say, and he needed to resist the urge to stoop to his old friend’s level.
“Can you do that, Doc?” he asked, sticking his chin out and up as though he was listening for her movement, for her reaction.
“I can certainly try.”
He looked over her shoulder, his body slightly turned to the side, despite her standing in front of him.
“You’re blushing,” he said, and allowed a curt smile.
The color in her cheeks deepened. Her hand went to her neck in the useless attempt to stop the blush.
“What makes you say that?”
Would she deny it? Would she disappoint him this soon and lie?
“I’m guessing,” he said, letting his voice be soft and soothing, encouraging her to confide in him, hoping to gain access to her own vulnerabilities. If he was to accomplish his ultimate goal, he would need Dr. Gwen Patterson not to feel threatened. The good doctor had a reputation for delving into some of the most famous and devious of criminal minds. He wondered what she would think if she knew she was to be the guinea pig this time.
“Let me just say, I’ve been a psychologist quite a while.” She tried to explain her reaction away casually, but he noticed the color remained in her cheeks. “I’ve heard many shocking things, much more so than your problem. You needn’t worry about embarrassing me, Mr. Harding.”
Okay, so she chose to play it safe and cool, refusing him access to her inner self. The idea of this excited him nevertheless. He did so enjoy a challenge.
“Perhaps,” she continued, “we should start by you telling me why you no longer enjoy sex.”
“Isn’t that obvious?” He used the tone he had perfected. The one that sounded angry, offended, yet sad enough to invoke the right amount of pity. It usually worked.
“Of course it’s not obvious.”
He let one of his hands stray under the pile of leather. She was making this so easy. Playing right into his hands, so to speak. He cupped a palm over his erection.
“If you’re thinking your—” she hesitated “—your handicap—”
“It’s okay. You can call it what it is. I’m blind. I don’t mind anyone saying the word.”
“Okay, but your blindness certainly should not mean a loss of libido.”
He liked the way she said “libido.” Though her lips were thin and her mouth small, he liked the shape. He enjoyed watching the upper lip curl a bit at the corner. He detected a slight accent, but he couldn’t place it—maybe upper New York? It made him anxious to hear her say “penis” and “fellatio,” and he wondered how her lips would curl around those words.
“Is that what you’re saying, Mr. Harding?” she interrupted his thoughts.
“That somehow your loss of sight has rendered you incapable of performing?”
“Men are highly visual creatures, especially when it comes to being sexually aroused.”
“Very true,” she said as she reached behind her and grabbed a file folder, his folder, his case history. “When did you begin losing your eyesight?”
“About four years ago. Do we have to talk about that?”
She looked