Alex Kava Bundle - Alex Kava [452]
Gwen knew to be quiet. Maggie had shared very little about her childhood, and what Gwen knew of Maggie and her mother’s relationship came from hints, personal observations over the years and a few rare and accidental admissions from Maggie. She knew about the alcohol abuse and learned about the suicide attempts only after the fact, even though there had been several attempts within the time since Gwen and Maggie had become friends. But Maggie had kept her mother and their relationship off-limits, and whether it was right or wrong, Gwen had allowed it, hoping that one day Maggie would decide on her own to share that obvious struggle. Even tonight and under the present circumstances, Gwen expected little insight, little sharing. She leaned against the corner of Maggie’s desk and waited, just in case.
“She always does and says such hurtful things,” Maggie said quietly without moving her head from the back of the cushion, avoiding Gwen’s eyes. “Not just to me but to herself. It’s like she’s been spending a lifetime trying to punish me.”
“Why in the world would she want to punish you, Maggie?”
“For loving my father more than I love her.”
“Maybe it’s not you she’s trying to punish.”
Maggie looked up at her with watery eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Could be she’s not trying to punish you at all. Did it ever occur to you that all these years she may have been trying to punish herself?”
CHAPTER 70
THURSDAY
November 28
Thanksgiving Day
Cleveland, Ohio
Kathleen looked out over Lake Erie and for the first time in years found herself homesick for Green Bay, Wisconsin. An unseasonably warm breeze ruffled her hair. She wished she could forget everything and leave it all behind her like one more black mark in her past. She wished she could take off her shoes, run down to the beach and spend the rest of the day, the rest of the week, the rest of her life walking with no destination, no intention other than to feel the sand between her toes.
“Cassie will begin to lead the prayer rally,” Reverend Everett said from behind her.
She looked over her shoulder without moving from her place in front of the open patio door. Reverend Everett had checked into a ritzy hotel in order to shower, shave and have access to a telephone to finalize their arrangements. Earlier, when she used the bathroom, Kathleen had been amazed at the wonderful luxuries: perfumed soaps, a shoe-shine kit, a real razor with a real blade instead of the disposable kind, a shower cap and even a jar filled with Q-Tips.
Now, while Stephen and Emily took notes and concentrated on everything Reverend Everett was telling the three of them, Kathleen stood quietly, enjoying the sunshine and the breeze.
She felt like she needed to learn how to breathe again after last night’s humiliating ritual and then the cramped bus ride. She hoped the fresh air and sunlight would help wipe away the feel of Everett’s hot breath, the sounds of his grunts and groans while he thrust himself into her over and over again. When he was finished, he had pointed to her clothes, instructing her to get dressed with a coldness in his voice that she had never heard before. He had told her she needed this cleansing ritual in order for him to be able to trust her again.
Without a word, she had slipped her clothes on over her sticky flesh, the smell of his aftershave so pungent she wanted to gag. And as she left his compartment to return to her seat, she couldn’t help thinking he had also cleansed her of every last remaining bit of her self-respect.
“The FBI will most likely be surrounding the park,” Stephen said. “Father, you can’t possibly think of showing up at the prayer rally.”
“What time will the cargo plane be ready?”
“It’s scheduled for a seven o’clock takeoff. We must be there early to board.”
“How can we be certain the FBI won’t be waiting at the airport?”
“Because I told them you would be at the rally. That you wouldn’t expect an arrest in such a public arena. Even if they do suspect something, they might be waiting at the