Alexander II_ The Last Great Tsar - Edvard Radzinsky [22]
But why were they in such a hurry with the wedding? Why were they not even waiting out the usual forty days after his father’s death?
November 14 was the last day before the start of a fast that would continue until the beginning of January. So otherwise they would have had to postpone the wedding for quite some time.
“14 November. My wedding day. After coffee with the others went to dress. Put on my hussar’s uniform and at 11.30 went with Misha to the Winter Palace. Troops all along Nevsky. Mama and Alix. We all waited while they completed her toilette in the Hall of Malachite.”
Finally she appeared: she wore a silver dress and a diamond necklace, and over her shoulders lay an ermine-lined, gold brocade mantle with a long train. On her head rested a tiara blazing with diamonds. The new empress.
“At 10 minutes after 12 the entrance into the Great Church began, whence I returned a married man.… We were presented with an enormous silver swan from the family. Alix and I changed clothes, got into a Russian carriage, and went to Kazan Cathedral. A sea of people in the streets.… An honor guard from the Uhlan Life Guard Regiment was waiting in the Anichkov courtyard when we arrived. Mama welcomed us with bread and salt.… All evening we answered telegrams.… Collapsed into bed early, since her [Alix’s] head had begun to pound.”
This rather crude, guardsmanly “collapsed into bed” concealed his embarrassment and fear before the mystery of her virginity. And she? It is no accident that he noted her headache. On her wedding night she decided to write of her happiness in his diary, but strange words appeared in her entry: “When this life ends, we shall meet again in another world and remain together always.” She was tormented by the same sadness and odd fear. The young empress tried to explain it away by the recent funeral ceremonies—by this wedding mixed with grief.
“ALL IS FULL OF PEACE AND JOY”
The dowager empress did all she could to keep them with her: at first they lived in Anichkov Palace.
“15 November. So, a married man….
“16 November. All morning saw dear Alix only for one hour. We went for a ride.… Strange sitting beside her in Peter[sburg].
“17 November. Am inexpressibly happy with Alix. It is a shame my duties take up so much time, which I would prefer to spend exclusively with her.”
She was embarrassed by her poor Russian, and her active nature was tortured by the fact that she could only look on as the dowager empress and ministers managed her Nicky. But her voice was heard more and more frequently in his diary. She wrote admonitions: “First your duty, then rest and relaxation.” “Do not fear danger, the Lord is near and protects you.” The harmony of their union, his softness and her firmness. She thirsted to be at his side in everything. At his side—that is, to rule him. As yet she did so only in his diary.
A year of mourning: no balls or entertainments; they were left to themselves. He, after his duties, which “take up so much time”; she, all day long. At three o’clock, free after ministers’ reports and other state duties, they would leave Anichkov and ride down Nevsky, then on to the Winter Palace, where their apartment was being readied, and then back to Anichkov Palace—and again they were together. In the evening, he read aloud to her, as his father used to do. When the first snow fell, they went to Tsarskoe Selo, and there for the first time they spent an entire week alone.
On the last day of the year they wrote in his diary.
He: “Along with this irreparable woe, the Lord has rewarded me with unimaginable happiness by giving me Alix.”
She: “The last day of the old year. What happiness to spend it together. My love has grown so deep, so strong, so pure—it knows no bounds. May the Lord bless you and keep you.” And a verse from Lermontov: “Transparent twilight, icon