All Good Things__ - Michael Jan Friedman [35]
Picard had no patience for Q’s antics. “What’s going on?” he demanded.
“Isn’t it obvious, Jean-Luc?” Q made an expansive gesture, indicating the entire courtroom and its cadre of foul-smelling occupants. “Can’t you see for yourself, old bean? Or is a little simple cognition beyond you?”
The captain frowned. He would have to play the game, apparently, like it or not. “The last time I stood in this courtroom was seven years ago …. “
“Seven years ago,” Q repeated mockingly. “How little you mortals understand time. Must you be so linear, Jean-Luc?”
Doggedly, Picard went on. “You accused me of being the representative of a barbarous species …. “
“I believe the exact words were ‘a dangerous, savage child-race,’ were they not?”
“But we demonstrated that mankind has become peaceful and benevolent,” the captain insisted. “You agreed~ and let us go on our way.” He looked around at the crowd of silent, glaring onlookers. “Why do I find myself back in this courtroom now, when our business here is finished?”
Q sighed. “You need me to connect the dots for you, I see. Lead you from A to B, B to C, and so on… so your puny mind can comprehend.” He shook his head weari-ly, vexed by man’s limitations. “How boring…”
“For you, perhaps. But—”
“It would be so much more entertaining,” Q mused, “if you tried to figure this out.” He snapped his fingers, his eyes widening as if seized all of a sudden by an idea. “In fact,” he said, “I’ll help you out.”
Reaching under his robes, he pulled out a small flipboard containing white cards. The first one had a large numeral 10 on it.
“Here’s the deal, mon ami. I’ll answer any question that calls for a yes or a no. Put it together in ten questions or less… and you, Jean-Luc Picard, could be our big winner. What do you say?”
The captain didn’t seem to have much of a choice. “All right, Q.” He tried to establish as much as possible right from the beginning. “Are you putting mankind on trial again?”
Q smiled. “No,” he said genially, flipping a card over to reveal the numeral 9.
“Is there any connection at all,” inquired Picard, “between the trial seven years ago and whatever’s going on now?”
Q pretended to think about that one. “Now, let’s see. Hmmmmm…I would have to say… yes.” He flipped to the card that showed 8.
“Yet you say we’re not on trial again …. “
“That’s correct,” said Q. “The trial is long over. That’s three questions for the contestant from Earth.”
The captain protested. “That was a statement, not a question!”
Unmoved, Q flipped another card over. “Seven to go. And not a very good job so far, if I may say so. A chimp could probably have done better—and been more witty in the process.”
Frustrated, Picard concentrated on his next question. “The spatial anomaly in the Neutral Zone… is it related to what’s happening?”
“Oh,” said Q, “most definitely yes.” He flipped yet another card. “Is it part of a Romulan plot? A ploy to start a war?” “You’ve been spending too much time with the Klingon,” Q observed. “No… and no again. Six down and only four to go.”
“Wait a minute,” argued the captain. “That’s only five.”
Q ticked off the questions on his fingers. “‘Is it a Romulan plot’? Is it a ploy to start a war?’ Those are separate questions.”
Picard held his anger in check. This was an opportunity to get to the bottom of this. He dared not waste it. “Did you create the anomaly, Q?”
The entity laughed merrily. “No, no, no, my incredible dullard of’ a starship captain. You’re going to be so surprised when you realize where it came from. That is, if you ever manage to figure it out. And you have only three questions left.”
The captain decided to try another tack. “Are you responsible for my shifting through time?”
Q looked around, as if he was about to do something illegal and was concerned that someone might be watching. He leaned down from his perch atop the floating cushion.
“I’ll answer that if you promise you won’t tell any-one,” he breathed. “I promise,” the human told him. “In that case,” Q whispered, ‘~ves.” Picard shook his head. “But why?”