All Roads Lead to Calvary [109]
fight, will you, whatever happens?" She had not known till then that he had been taking any interest in her work.
"No," she answered with a laugh, "no matter what happens, I shall always want to be in it."
"Good lad," he said, patting her on the shoulder. "It will be an ugly world that will come out of all this hate and anger. The Lord will want all the help that He can get."
"And you don't forget our compact, do you?" he continued, "that I am to be your backer. I want to be in it too."
She shot a glance at him. He was looking at the portrait of that old Ironside Allway who had fought and died to make a nobler England, as he had dreamed. A grim, unprepossessing gentleman, unless the artist had done him much injustice, with high, narrow forehead, and puzzled, staring eyes.
She took the cigarette from her lips and her voice trembled a little.
"I want you to be something more to me than that, sir," she said. "I want to feel that I'm an Allway, fighting for the things we've always had at heart. I'll try and be worthy of the name."
Her hand stole out to him across the table, but she kept her face away from him. Until she felt his grasp grow tight, and then she turned and their eyes met.
"You'll be the last of the name," he said. "Something tells me that. I'm glad you're a fighter. I always prayed my child might be a fighter."
Arthur had not been home since the beginning of the war. Twice he had written them to expect him, but the little fleet of mine sweepers had been hard pressed, and on both occasions his leave had been stopped at the last moment. One afternoon he turned up unexpectedly at the hospital. It was a few weeks after the Conscription Act had been passed.
Joan took him into her room at the end of the ward, from where, through the open door, she could still keep watch. They spoke in low tones.
"It's done you good," said Joan. "You look every inch the jolly Jack Tar." He was hard and tanned, and his eyes were marvellously bright.
"Yes," he said, "I love the sea. It's clean and strong."
A fear was creeping over her. "Why have you come back?" she asked.
He hesitated, keeping his eyes upon the ground.
"I don't suppose you will agree with me," he said. "Somehow I felt I had to."
A Conscientious Objector. She might have guessed it. A "Conchy," as they would call him in the Press: all the spiteful screamers who had never risked a scratch, themselves, denouncing him as a coward. The local Dogberrys of the tribunals would fire off their little stock of gibes and platitudes upon him, propound with owlish solemnity the new Christianity, abuse him and condemn him, without listening to him. Jeering mobs would follow him through the streets. More than once, of late, she had encountered such crowds made up of shrieking girls and foul-mouthed men, surging round some white-faced youngster while the well-dressed passers-by looked on and grinned.
She came to him and stood over him with her hands upon his shoulders.
"Must you, dear?" she said. "Can't you reconcile it to yourself-- to go on with your work of mercy, of saving poor folks' lives?"
He raised his eyes to hers. The shadow that, to her fancy, had always rested there seemed to have departed. A light had come to them.
"There are more important things than saving men's bodies. You think that, don't you?" he asked.
"Yes," she answered. "I won't try to hold you back, dear, if you think you can do that."
He caught her hands and held them.
"I wanted to be a coward," he said, "to keep out of the fight. I thought of the shame, of the petty persecutions--that even you might despise me. But I couldn't. I was always seeing His face before me with His beautiful tender eyes, and the blood drops on His brow. It is He alone can save the world. It is perishing for want of love; and by a little suffering I might be able to help Him. And then one night--I suppose it was a piece of driftwood-- there rose up out of the sea a little cross that seemed to call to me to stretch out my hand and grasp
"No," she answered with a laugh, "no matter what happens, I shall always want to be in it."
"Good lad," he said, patting her on the shoulder. "It will be an ugly world that will come out of all this hate and anger. The Lord will want all the help that He can get."
"And you don't forget our compact, do you?" he continued, "that I am to be your backer. I want to be in it too."
She shot a glance at him. He was looking at the portrait of that old Ironside Allway who had fought and died to make a nobler England, as he had dreamed. A grim, unprepossessing gentleman, unless the artist had done him much injustice, with high, narrow forehead, and puzzled, staring eyes.
She took the cigarette from her lips and her voice trembled a little.
"I want you to be something more to me than that, sir," she said. "I want to feel that I'm an Allway, fighting for the things we've always had at heart. I'll try and be worthy of the name."
Her hand stole out to him across the table, but she kept her face away from him. Until she felt his grasp grow tight, and then she turned and their eyes met.
"You'll be the last of the name," he said. "Something tells me that. I'm glad you're a fighter. I always prayed my child might be a fighter."
Arthur had not been home since the beginning of the war. Twice he had written them to expect him, but the little fleet of mine sweepers had been hard pressed, and on both occasions his leave had been stopped at the last moment. One afternoon he turned up unexpectedly at the hospital. It was a few weeks after the Conscription Act had been passed.
Joan took him into her room at the end of the ward, from where, through the open door, she could still keep watch. They spoke in low tones.
"It's done you good," said Joan. "You look every inch the jolly Jack Tar." He was hard and tanned, and his eyes were marvellously bright.
"Yes," he said, "I love the sea. It's clean and strong."
A fear was creeping over her. "Why have you come back?" she asked.
He hesitated, keeping his eyes upon the ground.
"I don't suppose you will agree with me," he said. "Somehow I felt I had to."
A Conscientious Objector. She might have guessed it. A "Conchy," as they would call him in the Press: all the spiteful screamers who had never risked a scratch, themselves, denouncing him as a coward. The local Dogberrys of the tribunals would fire off their little stock of gibes and platitudes upon him, propound with owlish solemnity the new Christianity, abuse him and condemn him, without listening to him. Jeering mobs would follow him through the streets. More than once, of late, she had encountered such crowds made up of shrieking girls and foul-mouthed men, surging round some white-faced youngster while the well-dressed passers-by looked on and grinned.
She came to him and stood over him with her hands upon his shoulders.
"Must you, dear?" she said. "Can't you reconcile it to yourself-- to go on with your work of mercy, of saving poor folks' lives?"
He raised his eyes to hers. The shadow that, to her fancy, had always rested there seemed to have departed. A light had come to them.
"There are more important things than saving men's bodies. You think that, don't you?" he asked.
"Yes," she answered. "I won't try to hold you back, dear, if you think you can do that."
He caught her hands and held them.
"I wanted to be a coward," he said, "to keep out of the fight. I thought of the shame, of the petty persecutions--that even you might despise me. But I couldn't. I was always seeing His face before me with His beautiful tender eyes, and the blood drops on His brow. It is He alone can save the world. It is perishing for want of love; and by a little suffering I might be able to help Him. And then one night--I suppose it was a piece of driftwood-- there rose up out of the sea a little cross that seemed to call to me to stretch out my hand and grasp