All She Ever Wanted - Barbara Freethy [104]
"And she was my sister," Cole said with a disgusted edge to his voice. "And he took advantage of her."
"No, he didn't, and I'm beginning to see why he never told you about his feelings."
"He didn't tell me because he knew I wouldn't like it."
Natalie sighed, feeling like she was ramming her head against a brick wall.
"Only the newspaper is that black and white, Cole. The rest of life is more complicated, especially relationships. Dylan had every right to love Emily. And I'm sure she cared about him too. They were best friends. You have to talk to Dylan."
Cole didn't answer. It was clear he was still angry.
Natalie looked out at the water, watching a sailboat cross under the bridge. It was attempting to sail back into the bay, away from the open sea, directly into the wind and the swirling currents. But the sailors weren't giving up, turning left, then right, as they attempted to catch a cross breeze. She felt like she was engaged in much the same battle, but she wouldn't give up. She wouldn't lose, not when she was so close to having everything she wanted.
She couldn't let Cole give up, either. "You need to stay focused," she told him. "You're letting yourself get sidetracked. We still have to find Malone, the journal, and the truth. At least we're getting closer."
He shot her a skeptical look. "How on earth could you think that? Every time I turn around I find out something new about my sister. Emily is a stranger now. Was she the girl I remember in my head and my heart? Or was she someone completely different?"
"Maybe she was a little of both. We don't always show family our true faces, especially when we're teenagers, and Emily was nineteen years old when she died. She wasn't fully grown. She hadn't become all she could be. And she wasn't perfect."
"I thought she was perfect," Cole said heavily. "Every time I think about her now, I see her laughing brown eyes and her beautiful smile, and it pisses me off that she's gone. She had so much to live for. She could have been anyone."
Natalie slid her hand down his arm and over his clenched fist in a gesture of comfort. "I feel the same way, Cole. Emily is frozen in time for all of us. That's why we can't let go of her. We can't get past the fact that we had a chance to move on, and she didn't. Maybe that's why Dylan had to keep his memories alive in photos. Maybe we shouldn't judge him so harshly for that."
"I want her back," Cole said tightly. "I want five more minutes with Emily."
His words made her eyes tear up, and she bit down on her lip to stop the emotion. Where had all her defenses gone? And why couldn't she get those damn walls up again?
"Just five more minutes," he continued, gazing into her eyes. "I want to tell Em that I'm proud of her, that I love her, and that I'd sell my soul to relive that night again, to bring her back. Is that so much to ask?"
Natalie shook her head, unable to speak. She wanted five more minutes with Emily, too—time to say she was sorry for putting Emily in the middle, for not paying more attention to what was going on in her life, and for being selfish. But they weren't going to get five more seconds, let alone five more minutes.
When Cole put his arms around her, Natalie went willingly. She rested her cheek against the pounding beat of his heart and wrapped her arms around his waist. They stayed that way for several long minutes. She wanted it to last forever. She realized now she hadn't come back to San Francisco because of the beauty of the city or the memories; she'd come back for this. This was the only home she'd ever really wanted, here in Cole's arms.
Like all of her homes, she knew it would be temporary. There were no second chances. Not for any of them.
Cole's cell phone rang a moment later, and she pulled away so he could answer it. He checked the number and shook his head. "Josh again."
"He's worried about you. Aren't you going to answer it?"
"I'll talk to him later. I need time to think. Do you suppose he knew—"
"No. Dylan's relationship with Emily—whatever it was—was kept just between