All She Ever Wanted - Barbara Freethy [115]
"I'm sure that's not true."
"At least I know he's not Malone. I have to admit I almost started thinking he was."
Natalie saw the guilty look in Laura's eyes and knew she'd played a part in putting it there. "I'm sorry if I implied that when I asked you to look for the journal. It's just that Drew was in L.A. and he knew so much about us ..."
"I know. I also started thinking about what Madison said, that Drew had gone to Emily's room that night, and I wondered if he'd gone out on that roof with her." Laura clapped a hand over her mouth. "I can't believe I just said that out loud."
"I can't, either." Natalie wondered if Laura's instincts were correct.
"It's just that things aren't adding up right—the bank statements, the business trips," Laura said, drawing from some inner well of courage Natalie didn't even know she had. "Yesterday I went by Drew's office, and dad told me that Drew isn't in L.A. on business; he's taking personal leave. Why is he taking personal leave? What's he doing? Is he having an affair? Or does it have something to do with the book, with Malone? He had Malone's travel itinerary in his pocket. But that doesn't explain the money, does it?" Laura sent Natalie an imploring look. "What am I missing? You were always the smart one. You could always add things up. Add them up for me."
Natalie shook her head, her brain whirling with the information Laura had just given her. If Drew had been in Emily's room that night, what had he seen? What had he heard? Had he gone out on the roof with Emily? Had they had some fight? Was he behind the book? Would that explain the money? Before she could ask, Laura started talking again.
"I need to speak to Drew," Laura continued. "I need to confront him, ask him outright what he's doing and who he's doing it with. I've been afraid to ask those questions, because I'm not sure I want to know the answers."
"Knowing is always better than not knowing," Natalie said, remembering how frustrated she'd felt with Cole all those years ago when he hadn't been up-front with her. "Then you can deal with what is instead of what might be."
"You're right. It's just that I've been trying to hang on to Drew since the day I met him, and I don't know how to let go. I married him because he was the cutest, sexiest, smartest guy I'd ever gone out with and because my parents thought he was perfect. I had kids right away so he'd find it hard to leave. I even encouraged him to buy the big house, because deep down I figured that the mortgage would be one more tie that he wouldn't be able to cut. Despite the many ropes I've thrown around the man, he seems to be slipping away from me."
Natalie stared at Laura in amazement. "Wow, that's quite a bit of psychoanalysis."
"I watch a lot of daytime talk shows," Laura admitted with a guilty smile.
"Maybe you should turn off the television."
"You think that will help?"
"It can't hurt. If you really want to change the pattern of your life and your relationship, it seems to me you have to make some changes. Maybe you have to be willing to risk losing Drew in order to keep him. And if you want to keep him, you have to fight for him with everything you've got."
Laura nodded. "You really are smart, Natalie."
Natalie uttered a little laugh. "It's easy to tell other people what to do. I don't have to live with the consequences. It's much harder to make decisions about my own life."
"Speaking of which ..."
Natalie let out a small groan. "Don't go there."
Laura ignored her. "What are you going to do about Cole?"
"I have no idea."
"You must have some idea of what you want."
"What I want and what's going to happen are two different things. I understand Cole better now, Laura. I know why he ran from me before. Maybe those reasons aren't there anymore, but we have new, insurmountable problems between us."
"Like what?"
"Like his parents. Richard and Janet hate me. They can't look at me without thinking about the loss of their daughter. His father already told Cole that he would have to choose