All She Ever Wanted - Barbara Freethy [119]
Something wet splashed on her hand. She looked down at her soda can, realizing it was almost empty, and it wasn't soda she was drinking, it was vodka. They'd poured the soda out in the upstairs bathroom. The vodka was supposed to make her feel happier. The other kids all got happy when they drank. Her mom certainly had a better time when she was drunk—so why didn't Natalie feel better? Why was she still so sad? Maybe she needed more to drink.
Upstairs. She'd just go upstairs, find Emily, get a refill, and when Cole came, she'd be the ultimate party girl. He'd forget she'd ever told him she loved him. It would be the way it used to be.
Her sense of desperation grew as she climbed the stairs. It was never going to be the way it used to be.
When she entered the room, she saw Emily sitting on the bed. She wore a short, black cocktail dress. Her legs were bare, her feet encased in high, strappy black sandals. And her toenails were a hot red, the same as her fingernails. They'd painted their nails red the night before at Madison's insistence that they shouldn't go into initiation without a little flash of color. Emily's head lifted as Natalie came into the room. Her long brown hair fell in waves against her face and down to her shoulders. There was guilt in her big brown eyes and sadness, too. In fact, she looked like she'd been crying. Before Natalie could ask her why, her gaze drifted to the pills in Emily's hand.
"What are you doing? Where did you get those?" Natalie asked.
"I need to take something to help me stay up tonight. After the party I have to study. I'm going to fail English. My tutor -- I can't see him anymore. He can't help me. I'm in so much trouble, Natalie. I need these pills. Everyone takes them. They're safe."
"They're not good for you. They could hurt you. Who gave them to you? Was it Madison?"
"No, it was Drew. He said everyone takes them. He used to take them himself. They're safe."
"You don't know that," Natalie countered. "It's different for everyone." She tried to think of all the reasons why Emily shouldn't take the pills, but her mind was fuzzy, and her mouth wasn't working right.
"I don't care. I've made such a mess of things, Natalie. I'm in love. I did something stupid. I'm so embarrassed."
Natalie didn't know what Emily was talking about. "What did you do?"
"I fell in love with a married man. A professor."
"Oh, my God! Who? When?" Natalie stumbled as she moved toward Emily.
Emily's eyes narrowed in disappointment. "You're drunk, aren't you?"
"I just had a couple shots of vodka."
"Natalie, what are you doing to yourself? This isn't you."
"I'm fine. I'm just a little buzzed. I'm happy. Is Cole coming? Did you call him?"
"Yes, I called him. He's not coming to the party, Natalie. Or if he does, he might be really late. He doesn't want you to wait for him. I'm sorry."
"You don't want us together, do you?" Natalie accused. "You're trying to break us up."
"How can you say that? You're like my sister." Emily's eyes filled with hurt.
Natalie didn't care. She was hurt, too. "But you won't help me get him back. And I have to get him back. I don't even know why I lost him. I love him, Emily. I need him."
"You have to let go, Natalie. Cole is .,. Cole is dating someone else in San Francisco."
"What!" She felt like she'd been stabbed in the heart, and she put a hand to her chest to see if she way bleeding.
"Her name is Cynthia, and her parents are friends of my parents. That's why he didn't come down last weekend." Emily stretched out a hand to Natalie, but Natalie jumped back from her.
"You're lying."
"I'm not lying. I don't want you to get hurt, but I'm afraid Cole will hurt you. He doesn't stick to one person. He's not ready for commitment. You have to forget him."
"I can't do that. I told him I loved him. And you want me to forget him? I can't forget him. I won't believe he's seeing someone else." She turned to the door. She had to get away from Emily. She needed another drink. Her glass was