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By Root 779 0

drinking and gambling. He was a first-class loser. My mother worked a couple of jobs to keep a roof over our heads, so she was always too tired to care much about me. That's not what I want for my children." He took a breath, then continued. "I'd like to make things work with us, Laura, but you've got to open your eyes. I'm not your father, who's the perfect businessman, husband, and father. In fact, I've never been the guy you think I am. I've just pretended to be, so I wouldn't lose you. But I'm tired of pretending. I am who I am. I'm ambitious. Sometimes I cut corners. I don't always know which lines I shouldn't cross. I'm not sure how to be a good husband and father. I didn't have the best example myself. So maybe you should be asking yourself if you want to stay with me, instead of asking me if I want to stay with you."

She looked at him in surprise, unable to believe what she'd just heard. "I think that's the most honest thing you've ever said to me."

"Yeah, well, I guess it's that kind of day."

"Drew, I don't want you to be my father. I don't even like my father very much. He made my mother's life miserable. He was always working. He had affairs. His idea of family is nothing like my idea. I've been terrified the last few years that you were turning into him, and I was turning into my mother. That's the last thing I want, Drew. I want us to be us. I want you and me and the girls to make our own way. And I want you to share with me the way you just did—with honesty and candor." She paused. "I've been holding on to you for the last ten years, Drew. If you want me to stay—if you want me in your life—you're going to have to hold on to me. It's your turn."

Drew gazed into her eyes for a long moment, then reached out and took her hand in his. He gave it a squeeze and said, "Let's go home."

Her eyes blurred with tears. Home had never sounded so good.

Chapter 20

The drive home seemed to take forever. Natalie had chosen to go back to San Francisco with Madison, leaving Cole and Dylan to deal with the details of Greg, Diane, and the Santa Cruz police Department. It was finally over. Her name would be cleared, her reputation repaired. She could go back to work, continue with her life. She should be feeling great.

"That's the third time you've sighed in the last five minutes," Madison said, darting a quick look at her. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly."

"Does it have something to do with why you're driving home with me instead of with Cole?"

Natalie sighed again. "I really don't want to get into it."

"Are you having regrets about hooking up with Cole?"

"Yes. No. It doesn't matter." She tucked her hair behind her ear, realizing her answer had done little to satisfy Madison, who was casting her sideways glances every few seconds. "Look, Madison, Cole and I are over. We know everything there is to know. There's nothing left to find out. Cole will go back to his life, and I'll do the same. End of story."

"I don't think this is the end. You're in love with the guy, and I have a sneaking suspicion he's in love with you, too."

Natalie shook her head. "He isn't. I gave him a chance to tell me back at the house. He didn't. Cole knows as well as I do that we have nowhere to go with any kind of relationship."

"Why? The past is in the past. Why can't you have a future?"

"Because there's more between us now than there was before. His parents can't look at me without feeling the loss of Emily. Even if they're finally convinced that I didn't push her off the roof, they'll still blame me for not being there when she fell. I can't say that they're wrong. If I hadn't been drunk that night, if I hadn't been so self-absorbed, maybe I would have been there for Emily."

"Maybe, maybe, maybe. Life isn't about maybe or what if, or should have. We all make choices, some of them bad, some of them good. Emily made choices, too. She's the one who slept with a married man. She's the one who went out on that roof. She's the one who argued with Diane. You had nothing to do with any of that. Perfect Emily was not perfect. It's