All She Ever Wanted - Barbara Freethy [149]
"No. It's not a wedding present. It's -- "
"A bracelet." His gaze turned puzzled as he looked into her eyes. "Baby shoes?"
Lisa swallowed hard as she stared at the gold charm bracelet swinging from his fingers. In her mind, she saw another man's hand, heard another man's voice.
"I wonder what other charms she'll get over the years, a baseball bat, a mitt, a basketball,'' Nick said with a laugh, his curly brown hair still mussed from his daughter's restless fingers, his light green eyes twinkling with pleasure.
"She's a girl," Lisa replied.
"She can still be an athlete.
"Like her dad.'' Lisa felt Nick's strong arm slide around her waist.
"Or a writer, like you. In fact, she can he anything she wants to be. As long as she's happy.
"Oh, Nick, you make it easy to believe in the impossible."
"I don't believe in the impossible. I believe in you -- in us''
Damn that bracelet. She didn't want to remember.
"Elisabeth, what's wrong?"
She took a deep breath. "Nothing is wrong. The bracelet is a gift from my mother. Something old for luck."
Raymond didn't look satisfied with her answer. "You did tell her we're not planning on having children, didn't you?" he asked, worry running through his usually placid brown eyes.
"Yes, but my mother doesn't hear anything she doesn't want to hear. My father was gone for ten years before she admitted he might not be coming back. The woman is the queen of denial."
"Elisabeth, I raised a son, and I don't want to do it again. Frankly, I was never good at being a father. Just ask Ray Junior, if you don't believe me. He's twenty-five now, and I still don't know what to say to him."
Twenty-five! His son was twenty-five, only six years younger than herself. When she'd been in the first grade, Raymond had been having a child. Lisa took another deep breath. The age difference didn't matter. They had the same goals now. That's what was important.
"I don't want children," she said. "I don't need to be -- a mother."
He looked deep into her eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Absolutely, positively sure." She refused to let any doubts creep into her voice.
He glanced down at the bracelet in his hand, fingering the tiny gold baby shoes. Finally, he set it back in the box and checked his watch. "What time are you meeting Mrs. Carstairs?''
"Five-thirty at the bridal salon," she replied with a sigh.
Raymond sent her a curious look. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She hesitated. "Don't you think it would be better to have a small, intimate wedding?"
"How small would you suggest?"
"You and me and two witnesses," she said hopefully,
"Don't be silly. I have family, friends, business associates. I want to show you off. Every time I see you I thank God no one snatched you up before now."
Lisa's heart stopped. She had to tell him. She'd been trying to for days, but the right moment had never arrived.
"Raymond -- "
She stopped as the intercom buzzed, feeling both relieved and annoyed by the interruption. She reached over and picked up the phone. "Yes?"
"Maggie Scott on line one, Elisabeth," the receptionist said.
Maggie Scott -- another voice from her past. Why were they all coining back now -- when she finally had her life under control? "Tell her I'll be with her in a minute."
"Problems?" Raymond asked.
"It's an old friend of mine, Maggie Scott. We grew up together in Solana Beach. We used to be best friends."
"Used to be?"
"She got married, had kids. I moved away." Lisa waved her hand in the air. "We drifted apart."
"That happens."
Lisa nodded, knowing they hadn't just drifted apart. She'd turned her back on Maggie, the same way she'd turned her back on her mother and ...
"Stop by my office when you're done," Raymond said, turning toward the door, "We'll discuss our plans for the weekend. Monty Friedman has invited us to a party tomorrow afternoon. Everyone will be there. It will be a good opportunity for you to meet the key players."
"Okay," Lisa replied, her mind more on Maggie than the upcoming party. She was suddenly