All She Ever Wanted - Barbara Freethy [67]
Natalie swallowed hard, suddenly overwhelmed with sadness. Emily was never going to set foot in this room again. She wasn't going to come bouncing in, her brown eyes sparkling, her cheeks flushed with the excitement of some grand new idea. She wasn't going to sleep in the bed, read the books, hold the stuffed animals in her arms. She was gone, and she wasn't coming back, even though this room looked like it was waiting for her to do just that.
She turned and walked straight into Cole's arms. He held her tight, pressing her head against his chest.
"I know," he murmured. "I feel the same way."
She closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall and tried to let the steady beat of Cole's heart calm her shattered nerves. In the past ten years she'd seen some people die right in front of her. She'd watched families embrace and comfort each other. She'd seen immeasurable tragedy, but she'd never felt so sad as she did right now. "I loved her," she said. "I loved her so much. She was more than a friend. She was a sister. And I don't mean a sorority sister. I mean someone who could hear what was in my heart." She lifted her head and gazed into his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Cole. I'm so sorry she's gone. You must miss her so much."
"I do," he said huskily, his eyes suspiciously moist. "That's why I never come in here."
"Who does? Who keeps it this way? Your mom?"
He nodded. "She used to sit in here every night. Sometimes she'd lay on Em's bed, holding those tigers and crying. I could hear her sobbing in my room down the hall. It was ... horrible." He tightened his arms around Natalie.
"You couldn't let them see how sad you were, could you?" she asked. "You had to be the strong one."
"Someone had to be. I just couldn't understand how it had happened. One minute Emily was there, and the next she was gone. She had so much to offer the world. She had so much life to live. She never got to get married or have children. She never got to build a career for herself, have her own apartment, travel to Europe. She died too young. It wasn't right. If anyone in our family was supposed to die, it should have been me. I'd already seen twice as much as Em."
Natalie could hear his heart breaking in every word he spoke. Life wasn't fair. People died too young every day. But knowing that didn't make it any easier. She reached up and pressed her lips against his mouth in a tender kiss. Cole grabbed on to the kiss as if it were a life preserver and he was a drowning man. She took pleasure in giving him what comfort she could, because she needed it too, this connection to Cole, to love, to life.
When Cole lifted his head, his expression was somber but grateful. "Thanks."
"You're welcome. We better look for the journal. Unless you'd rather not. I don't want to mess up anything in here."
"We'll be careful. We owe it to Emily to find out the truth."
Natalie stepped away from him, drawing in a deep breath as she did so. "Where should we start?"
"The closet. I think my mother put Em's college things in boxes in there."
Natalie was relieved to hear that. Emily's walk-in closet did not hold nearly as many memories as the rest of the room. She opened the door and found four boxes on the floor of the closet, which was still lined with Emily's clothes from a decade ago. "I can't believe your mom hasn't given away these clothes."
"She says it's all she has left of Emily. I know it's kind of sick. She's been better in the last few years though. Dad takes her