All That Is Bitter and Sweet_ A Memoir - Ashley Judd [1]
Liveright Publishing Corporation: Four lines from “may my heart always be open to little” from COMPLETE POEMS: 1904–1962 by E. E. Cummings, edited by George J. Firmage, copyright 1938, © 1966, 1991 by the Trustees for the E. E. Cummings Trust. Reprinted by permission of Liveright Publishing Corporation.
Middlemarsh, Inc.: Excerpt from “Always Unsuitable” from Early Grrrl: The Early Poems of Marge Piercy by Marge Piercy, copyright © 1999 by Middlemarsh, Inc. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission of Middlemarsh, Inc.
Penguin Group UK and Johnson & Alcock Ltd: Four lines from “Colours” from Yevtushenko: Selected Poems by Yevgeny Yevtushenko, translated by Robin Milner-Gulland and Peter Levi (Penguin Books, 1962), copyright © 1962 by Robin Milner-Gulland and Peter Levi. Audio rights are controlled by Johnson & Alcock Ltd. Reprinted by permission of Penguin Group UK and Johnson & Alcock Ltd.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Judd, Ashley.
All that is bitter & sweet : a memoir / by Ashley Judd with Maryanne Vollers.
p. cm.
eISBN: 978-0-345-52482-9
1. Judd, Ashley. 2. Motion picture actors and actresses—United States—Biography.
I. Vollers, Maryanne. II. Title.
PN2287.J83A3 2011
791.4302′8092—dc22
[B] 2011002939
www.ballantinebooks.com
Jacket design: Marietta Anastassatos
Jacket photo: © Kelly Campbell
v3.1
For my beloved grandparents
“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite and He bends with you His might that
His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So he loves also the bow that is stable.”
—KAHLIL GIBRAN, The Prophet
Love is a great thing, yea, a great and thorough good; by itself it makes everything that is heavy, light; and it bears evenly all that is uneven. For love carries a burden that is no burden, and makes everything that is bitter sweet and tasteful.
—THOMAS À KEMPIS, The Imitation of Christ
CONTENTS
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
FOREWORD by Nicholas D. Kristof
PROLOGUE
Chapter 1 FAMILY OF CHANCE, FAMILY OF CHOICE
Chapter 2 THE SAFEST PLACE IN THE WORLD
Chapter 3 BUTTERMILK AND MORNING GLORIES
Chapter 4 THROUGH THE TRAPDOOR
Chapter 5 MAKING OF A RABBLE-ROUSER
Chapter 6 OUK SREY LEAK
Chapter 7 AVENGING ANGEL OF THE SISTERHOOD
Chapter 8 DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL
Chapter 9 EURYDICE IN AFRICA
Chapter 10 THE RICE TENTS
Chapter 11 PRAYING WITH MY PRESENCE
Chapter 12 BUMPING INTO MYSELF
Chapter 13 DELIVERANCE
Chapter 14 SHADES OF HOPE
Chapter 15 THE LOST CHILD FOUND
Chapter 16 PROJECT LIFE
Chapter 17 OFF THE MAT, INTO THE WORLD
Chapter 18 ADVENTURES IN BOLLYWOOD
Chapter 19 A HOLY MESS
Chapter 20 THE WHITE FLOWER OF RWANDA
Chapter 21 THE REPUBLIC OF RAPE
Chapter 22 THE CLICK
Chapter 23 CRIMSON DREAMS
EPILOGUE
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
NOTES
About the Author
FOREWORD
NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
The essence of being a famous Hollywood actor is that you have cameras constantly pursuing you. It’s a law as fundamental as gravity: A lens seeks a star. To those in the crosshairs, the paparazzi are as annoying as they are inescapable—like a swarm of mosquitoes by a lake. Some stars simply go into hiding. Instead, Ashley Judd invites the cameras to join her as she tackles AIDS in Madagascar or sex trafficking in India. She uses her fame to focus attention on issues of vital importance to all of us, while giving voice to the voiceless around the world.
After college, she almost