All the King's Men - Robert Penn Warren [100]
But afterward, as they walked down the street, she had said, “Why do you live like that?”
“It’s what I’m built for, I reckon,” Jack Burden said.
“With those people,” she said.
“They’re all right,” he said, and wondered if they were, and wondered if he was.
His mother didn’t say anything for a minute, making a sharp, bright clicking on the pavement with her heels as she walked along, holding her small shoulders trimly back, carrying her famished-cheeked, blue-eyed, absolutely innocent face slightly lifted to the pulsing sunset world of April like a very expensive present the world ought to be glad even to have a look at.
Walking along beside him she said meditatively, “That dark-haired one–if he’d get cleaned up–he wouldn’t be bad looking.”
“That’s what a lot of other women think,” Jack Burden said, and suddenly felt a nauseated hatred of the dark-haired one, the one who had killed the ant on the sugar bowl, who had the dirty nails. But he had to go on, something in him made him go on, “Yes, and a lot of them don’t even care about cleaning him up. They’ll take him like he is. He’s the great lover of the apartment. He put the sag in the springs of that divan we got.”
“Don’t be vulgar,” she said, because she definitely did not like what id known as vulgarity in conversation.
“It’s the truth,” he said.
She didn’t answer, and her heels did the bright clicking. Then she said, “If he’d throw those awful clothes away–and get something decent.”
“Yeah,” Jack Burden said, “on his seventy-five dollars a month.”
She looked at him now, down at his clothes. “Yours are pretty awful, too,” she said.
“Are they?” Jack Burden demanded.
“I’ll send you money for some decent clothes,” she said.
A few days later the check came and a note telling him to get a “couple of decent suits and accessories.” The check was for two hundred and fifty dollars. He did not even buy a necktie. But he and the two other men in the apartment had a wonderful blowout, which lasted for five days, and as a result of which the industrious and unlucky one lost his job and the idle and lucky one got too sociable, and despite his luck, contracted a social disease. But nothing happened to Jack Burden, for nothing ever happened to Jack Burden, who was invulnerable. Perhaps this was the curse of Jack Burden: he was invulnerable.
So Jack Burden lived in the slatternly apartment with the two other graduate students, for even after being fired the unlucky, industrious one still lived in the apartment. He simply stopped paying anything but he stayed. He borrowed money for cigarettes. He sullenly ate the food the others brought in and cooked. He lay around during the day, for there was no reason to be industrious any more, ever again. Once at night, Jack Burden woke up and thought he heard the sounds of sobs from the living room, where the unlucky, industrious one slept on a wall bed. Then one day the unlucky, industrious one was not there. They never did know where he had gone, and they never heard from him again.
But before that they lived in the apartment, in an atmosphere of brotherhood and mutual understanding. They had this in common: they were all hiding. The difference was in what they were hiding from. The two others were hiding from the future, from the day would get degrees and leave the University. Jack Burden, however, was hiding from the present. The other two took refuge in the present. Jack Burden took refuge in the past. The other two sat in the living room and argued and drank or played cards or read, but Jack Burden was sitting, as like as not, back in his bedroom before a little pine table, with the notes and papers and books before him, scarcely hearing the voices. He might come out and take a drink or take a hand of cards or argue or do any of the other things they did, but what was real was back in that bedroom on the pine table.
What was back in the bedroom on the pine table?
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