Allen Carr's Easyway to Stop Smoking - Allen Carr [48]
However, although the smoker knows he would be better off as a non-smoker, he believes that becoming one will involve making a tremendous sacrifice. Although this is an illusion, it is a powerful one. The smoker doesn’t know why, but cigarettes seem to be very precious to him, and he seems to need them, in good times and in bad.
For years he has been subjected to brainwashing that cigarettes are precious, and this illusion has been reinforced by his physical addiction to nicotine, which causes him to feel uneasy when he can’t smoke. On top of this he also has to deal with even more powerful brainwashing of how difficult it is to quit.
Every smoker has heard horror stories of people who have quit for months but are still desperately craving a cigarette. Then there are the bitter ex-smokers who seem intent on sharing every second of their agonizing experience with you. Smokers are also aware of the stories about people who haven’t smoked for years relapsing and becoming instantly re-addicted. Anti-smoking and quit smoking TV ads showing smokers in advanced stages of cancer and emphysema, yet who cannot quit, add to the confusion. If those poor smokers can’t quit, then what chance do I have?
So instead of starting this wonderful journey with a sense of excitement and anticipation, we start with a sense of doom and gloom. Sometimes we even tell our family, friends and colleagues, ‘Look, I’m going to try to quit so I’m going to be irritable and cranky for a few months. Try to bear with me.’
So there we are, about to attack this major project, already filled with fear, misery and depression. Convinced that it’s going be difficult and unpleasant and sure that we are going to fail anyway. With this frame of mind, most attempts are doomed to failure before they even start. To be honest, I find it amazing that anyone quits smoking with this approach.
Let’s imagine that a Willpower quitter manages to survive a few days without smoking. His mind now begins to play tricks on him. There’s no physical pain, but it feels like something is missing. This feeling grows and grows and begins to obsess the smoker. We’re not sure what it is we need, but we do feel sure that the cigarette will provide it. We have created a psychological need to smoke, and the only way we can overcome it is to use Willpower. We try to deal with it by making an attempt not to think about smoking but, of course, this merely guarantees that you think about it even more. Soon the only thing we can think about is smoking, and we begin to say things like:
“Life is too short. Look at September 11th. We could all die tomorrow. I could get run over by a bus. I have probably left it too late anyway. They say everything gives you cancer these days.”
“I’ve picked the wrong time. I should have waited until after Christmas / after the holidays / after this stressful event in my life.”
“I can’t concentrate. I’m irritable and bad-tempered. I cannot do my job properly. My family and friends won’t love me. Let’s face it, for everybody’s sake I have got to start smoking again. I’m a confirmed smoker and there is no way I will ever be happy again without a cigarette. Some people are just born to be smokers.” (This one kept me smoking for thirty-three years.)
At this stage, the smoker usually admits defeat and caves in. When he lights up a kind of schizophrenia takes over. On the one hand there is the illusion of relief at being able to do something that he has been ‘depriving himself’ of. On the other hand, the cigarette tastes awful. The smoker profoundly resents having to smoke it and can’t understand why he is doing it. This is why the smoker thinks that he lacks Willpower. In fact, it isn’t a lack of willpower that is the problem, but a conflict of wills. It is this conflict that is at the root of the smoker’s dilemma: every smoker wants to quit, but every smoker wants to keep smoking.
The smoker fails