Almost Perfect - Brian Katcher [100]
“For the past four years, I’ve had to watch my only son dress like some drag queen. He shares clothes with Tammi, he does her makeup. Fuck, Logan, he takes drugs that made him grow tits. I never expected him to be a football player, but this!” He paused.
“At any rate, not a day went by that I didn’t tell him what a mistake he was making, what a fool he was being, how ashamed his family was. Though I guess I was the only one who was really embarrassed. His mother and sister sure seem to accept things. I always hoped he’d stop. But when he first told us, when I first realized the problem wasn’t going away, I told him …”
He suddenly froze and stared at me, like he’d forgotten I was there. He placed his face in one hand and massaged his eyes.
“I told him … I’d rather see him dead than acting like a girl.”
If this was a made-for-TV movie, there would have been a loud musical score and a cut to commercial. Sage had never told me that. I knew her father disapproved, but telling her he wished she was dead … I didn’t think that was possible for a parent. How could he look at his crazy, wonderful kid and be that ashamed?
Mr. Hendricks seemed to be waiting for me to say something. I had a couple of things I wanted to say, but reined in my temper. And I wasn’t going to tell him that what he’d said was understandable, if that’s what he wanted.
Eventually, Sage’s father started talking again. Rapidly, like we didn’t have much time.
“Logan, I didn’t mean what I said. I swear to God, I didn’t mean that. I just thought that if I showed Sage how much I hated what he was doing, he’d stop. Fathers have to do that sometimes. Be the bad guy to keep their kids in line. You know what that’s like.”
“I don’t have a father.”
Mr. Hendricks looked at me, and for the first time I think he saw something other than the kid who was corrupting his child. But the moment passed, and he continued his story.
“Sage wouldn’t stop acting like a girl. It was like he had to spite me. Throw his lifestyle in my face. Show me that nothing would stop him. I’ll tell you something, Logan. The day I said that horrible thing to Sage, he stopped loving me. But I never took it back. Never said I was sorry.”
Maybe he was looking for absolution, maybe he was just finally admitting to himself that he hadn’t done right. I wanted to rub his nose in it. Yell at him, lecture him on how if he’d just been more understanding, Sage wouldn’t have tried to hurt herself and wouldn’t have been so confused and scared. But I’d had enough of the blame game recently. I certainly wasn’t the guy to point fingers.
“Sir? You feel guilty, Tammi feels guilty, I sure as hell feel guilty, and Sage probably does too. But we all know the SOB who beat Sage up is the real bad guy here, and I doubt we’ll ever know who that was.” Numbly, Mr. Hendricks nodded. I continued.
“I guess neither of us really knew how to handle someone like Sage. But she’s the one who’s hurting”—the she slipped out before I could stop myself—“and we need to worry about Sage.”
“Yeah.” He took another fake sip of his drink and was silent.
“So how is Sage doing?”
“Broken nose, a couple of cracked ribs.”
Ribs? Shit, what did that bastard do to her? “Could I visit Sage tomorrow?”
Mr. Hendricks wouldn’t look at me. He wasn’t telling me something.
“Sir?”
“Sage … is no longer at University Hospital, Logan,” he answered evasively.
I didn’t want to ask the next question. “Where is she, then?”
“A private clinic,” he mumbled into his hand.
I felt my stomach acid boil. Sage had told me her family had once discussed having her institutionalized.
“You mean a nuthouse? A psycho hospital?”
Mr. Hendricks nodded.
“She gets her ass kicked, and you have her put away! Just stick your family’s