Almost Perfect - Brian Katcher [32]
She was my mother, and there was no ignoring her.
“I’m fine, Mom. I just went running and pushed myself too hard.”
Mom stood and looked at me with a mixture of concern and suspicion.
“Mrs. McGarvy called. She said you were acting funny at the track, and then you threw up. She said you were crying.”
Was I?
“Mom, I just ran a little too fast and a little too far. I hit the wall.”
Mom clearly didn’t believe me. I knew my limits, and I never went running in street clothes. She didn’t push the issue, though.
“A young lady stopped by when you were gone.”
My mom must have heard my horrified gasp. No. Not Sage. What had she said to my mother?
Mom continued. “She said her name was Tammi.”
I commenced breathing. “I gave her … sister a jump this morning.”
“Well, she looked upset. She said you really need to call her sister. Said it’s urgent.”
I grunted and headed for the bathroom.
“Logan, what happened?”
She was talking to the door.
The scalding water of the shower brought me somewhat back to reality. I had to stop acting like this. People would wonder what was going on. Start asking questions …
I scrubbed myself raw. Too bad I didn’t have some lye or some ammonia to burn Sage’s touch away.
She’d ruined my life. For the rest of the school year … hell, for the rest of my goddamned life, I’d be worried someone would find her out. And then everyone would know that I liked a guy. It didn’t matter that we’d never really dated. Just the flirting in biology would be enough to paint me pink for the next twenty years.
There was only one option. Sage—no, the entire world—would have to know she was dead to me. That I felt nothing but hatred for her … him … her. Even after her little revelation, I still could not think of Sage with masculine pronouns.
I’d call Sage, all right. Tell her I never wanted to see her again. Not even at school.
Tell her if she ever told the world what she really was, or if anyone ever found out, then I’d hurt her. I would.
* * *
That evening I sat alone in the abandoned Arborville Road Cemetery. I had called Sage and told her to meet me there. It was the most isolated place I could think of.
She showed up just as the sun was going down. For once, she wasn’t dressed outrageously. Just plain jeans and a gray sweater. I guess she realized that it was the wrong time for fancy dresses and gaudy jewelry. I tried to picture her as a boy, picture her as a man. Couldn’t do it. Even with the height, the voice, the shoulders … she was still Sage.
A beautiful, zany, sensitive girl who liked me. Truly liked me. Who’d be going off to college with me. The girl who was going to help me move on with my life. The girl who just happened to not mention that she had a dick growing between her legs. Did she think that wouldn’t matter to me? Did Sage honestly expect me not to care?
“Logan …” Her husky voice was cracked and hoarse.
In response, I threw something at her feet. It was the MU blanket she’d given me for Christmas.
Sage sat on a log and stared at it for a long time before picking it up and folding it carefully. Then she spoke without looking at me.
“Logan, I’m not going to apologize, because I know it wouldn’t matter. And I’m not going to try to explain, because I know you don’t care. But I have to ask you something.”
I didn’t respond. She went on.
“Are you going to tell anyone my secret?”
The idea that I’d actually tell anyone that the girl I liked had a penis struck me as perverse. I laughed.
“Be serious, Logan! You may think I’m sick. Fine. But you used to treat me like a friend. So I’m asking you … please don’t tell. I’ll drop out of bio so you won’t have to see me there. But if anyone here knew that I’m not a full woman … I’d have to quit school. My family would have to leave town. Think of Tammi. Please, please, keep this between us.”
I kicked a tombstone. “Sage, do you think I want my friends to know I kissed an ass pirate like you? Just stay the hell away from me. I don’t ever want to see you again, faggot.”
Sage stood. For a moment, she looked at me. The afternoon sun caught