Almost Perfect - Brian Katcher [89]
Every day I delayed, Sage’s feelings would grow colder. And eventually, I’d no longer be worth the trouble. Back in November, I would have taken Brenda back, even after she’d cheated. But now I knew I deserved better. Sage would ultimately come to the same conclusion.
Thursday afternoon, I was trying to get my lawn mower running. There was water in the gas line, and it didn’t want to start. I didn’t realize I had company until I saw my sister’s shadow fall over me.
“Laura!” Shit! “What are you doing here?”
Laura looked grim. I’d never noticed before how much she resembled our mother. That same pinched-mouthed, steely-eyed expression Mom wore when she went off to spend another ten hours pouring coffee and burning her wrists on hot plates. The fatalistic determination of someone who wished she could avoid something but couldn’t.
“Is Mom here?”
I gave the mower another halfhearted yank. “She’s working.”
“Can we talk?” she asked, gesturing at the trailer.
I tugged the cord again. “Fine.”
“Logan … about what I said on the phone.”
I stood and walked away a few paces. “Do we really have to discuss that?”
“I didn’t want to humiliate you …”
Then why did you? “What’s done is done, Laura. Sage lied to me, and you made me see that. Do me a favor and let’s not talk about this again.” I was speaking in a monotone, reciting the required lines, bad-mouthing a girl who desperately needed a friend. With that last sentence, I’d closed the door on Sage forever. I’d made her responsible for my lies. I’d placed the blame on a blameless girl, and now she’d never come back.
Laura, of course, couldn’t let things drop. She was a woman, after all, and always wanted to discuss relationships, even other people’s.
“Logan, I know this is hard for you.”
I nearly yanked the cord out of the mower. It violently coughed.
“But I couldn’t not tell you,” she continued.
“Yeah. Look, just go, okay? It’s over. I’ll see you this summer.”
“Logan …” She stopped. Eventually, I turned and faced her. “Logan, something occurred to me the night after you visited. I thought that maybe … I dunno … maybe I was telling you something you already knew.” She grinned apologetically, but her eyes were questioning.
So Sage had been right. My sister wasn’t going to judge, wasn’t going to ask questions, wasn’t going to mock. All I had to do was say yes. I didn’t even have to do that. All I had to do was nod and the conversation would be over. Forever. Laura would understand that Sage was what I wanted and leave it at that. And by telling Laura the truth, I’d prove to Sage I was as brave as she needed me to be.
But there are some things you can’t do. Some things you can’t admit, not to yourself, and especially not to your family. My next words were hateful, offended.
“How could I have known? You think I would have dated her … him … it … if I’d known?” The insults were forceful, yet forced.
Laura backed up a step but didn’t blink. “It’s just that if you already did know, and didn’t have a problem with it …”
“Shut up!” I hadn’t physically fought with Laura since I was six, but I considered holding her mouth shut with my hand just to get her to stop talking.
“Logan, if you wanted to keep dating Sage, I’d understand. I wouldn’t tell anyone.” She spoke rapidly, like she was afraid of losing her nerve.
I screamed so loud it came out as a squeak. “Why don’t you mind your own fucking business?”
Laura was crying as she rushed back to her car. I grabbed the lawn mower by its body, and with an enraged scream, hurled it six feet across the yard.
chapter thirty-one
THE NEXT FRIDAY,