Alphabet Weekends - Elizabeth Noble [18]
‘You time your visits impeccably, sis. Not so gorgeous when there’s a party in her cot at three a.m., believe me.’
‘Surely Karl’s doing most of those, these days?’
‘He’s not bad, bless him, but he’s knackered. And he has to get up and go to work. At least I can hang out here with Christina and nap when she does.’ She smirked. ‘Once I’ve put a load of washing on, cleaned up from breakfast – by which I mean walls, floor and table, you understand – and providing I can get comfortable in any position, which is, frankly, less and less likely.’
Natalie clucked sympathetically. ‘Shall I go away?’
‘No, no – that’s not what I meant.’ Bridget patted the sofa beside her. ‘Come and tell me more about this alphabet game. I can only think of obscenities – it must be the hormones. B for blow-job… C for—’
‘Yuck! That’s a whole other game you’re thinking of. And what are you doing fantasizing about “it” in your state?’
‘Because at least day dreaming about it doesn’t give you leg cramps, or present major engineering problems, like actually doing it does.’
‘Too much information. Shouldn’t you be thinking pure thoughts?’
Bridget laughed. ‘You’ve got a lot to learn, little sis.’
‘Well, thanks, I’m in no hurry. In fact, I’m further away from being ready to sprog now than I have been for years, aren’t I?’
‘With Simon, maybe. Which, frankly, is a relief to the rest of us. Didn’t fancy Christmas dinners and summer holidays with him for the rest of my life.’
‘Bridget!’
‘Well, I didn’t! He was the most infuriating, arrogant, self-absorbed—’
‘Okay, okay!’ Natalie loved her for it, but enough was enough. ‘You don’t have to worry about it any more, do you? He’s gone.’
‘Now, Tom, on the other hand…’
‘What’s wrong with you? I got the same reaction from Susannah when I told her about it the other night on the phone. He’s like our brother, for God’s sake.’
‘But he isn’t our brother, is he, Nat? How is Suze, by the way?’
‘Suze-like. Ten minutes on the souks and the sunshine, five minutes on Casper, thirty seconds on the rest of us.’
‘Don’t be rotten. She’s just excited, that’s all. Let’s face it, her life is a bit more exciting than ours, these days, isn’t it? And Casper waited a long time for this break.’
Bridget was always so reasonable – she was pathological about finding the good in people.
‘I hardly think we’re about to see him on Jonathan Ross. He’s got about ten lines.’
‘Which is a start.’
‘Okay. Point taken.’ Bridget made Natalie want to be nicer. When they were kids, she’d sometimes hated it, but now she had come to see visits to her sister as a bit of a confessional – she poured out her vitriol, spite and meanness, and Bridget sent her away topped up with warm fuzziness. Mostly. That was why her sister’s view of Simon was so shocking – it was completely out of character for her to react to someone like that.
‘Back to Tom. I trust you’re going to do it?’ Bridget asked.
‘As Tom pointed out, it’s not like I have anything better to do for the next few months, is it?’
‘There’ll be a fair amount of winding, feeding and nappy-changing around here…’
‘Tempting as that sounds, Bridge, I take his point. We’ll have a laugh – we always do. And if he wants to put himself out to cheer me up, then fair enough. But nothing’s going to happen and nothing’s going to come out of it. You just know, don’t you? I mean, you knew with Karl straight away, didn’t you?’
‘Not straight away. It was after the first bed-bath, I think!’
Bridget had been nursing in a high-dependency ward at the hospital. Karl had come off his Ducati at 105 miles per hour, and arrived with his leg broken in four different places, five broken ribs, a shattered wrist and half of the grit from the M4 embedded in his flesh. By the time he came out of traction he was hooked, and although Bridget initially thought it was the painkillers and the boredom that made