Always Dakota - Debbie Macomber [20]
Margaret knew it wasn’t her health Maddy was referring to, but her life now that her father was gone. She shrugged, saying what she usually did. “All right, I guess.” After a moment’s reflection, she continued, “A dozen times a day I find myself thinking I need to talk to Dad about this or that. When I realize I can’t ever ask him anything again, this…this feeling of emptiness comes over me.” She pressed her hand to her heart. “Some days don’t seem as bad as others, but there are days I don’t think I can go on.”
“It takes time.”
Margaret knew that. “I’m doing what you suggested the day of the funeral and that’s to remember how fortunate I was to have him as long as I did. His life was a blessing to a lot of people.”
“I said that?”
Margaret nodded. “Maybe not in those exact words.”
Maddy poured the tea and smiled in amusement. “Sometimes I sound so wise, I astonish myself.”
“You are wise—you understand about people. Actually that’s the reason I came over,” Margaret said, sitting back on the sofa and cradling her mug with both hands. She paused, hesitant to proceed.
Maddy said nothing, her expression quizzical.
“Matt Eilers stopped by last week to offer his condolences.”
Maddy added a spoonful of sugar to her tea. “He’s a little late, don’t you think?”
“He apologized for that,” Margaret said, quick to defend him. She took a deep breath. “When he was ready to leave, I walked him out to his truck….”
“And?” Maddy seemed to sense something important had happened because she gazed steadily at Margaret as she waited for her to go on.
“Well, before he left—” she paused a second time “—now, I don’t want you to misjudge him…I realize Matt isn’t one of your favorite people.”
“I don’t dislike him,” Maddy assured her.
“But you don’t trust him.”
Maddy stirred her tea with no comment, then said, “I can be fair. You’d better tell me.”
Margaret was dying to do so. “Oh, Maddy, he kissed me and it was just as wonderful as I dreamed it would be. At first, I didn’t know what to think, since it was such a surprise and all. He started to open his truck door, then turned back, took me by the shoulders and out of the blue, he kissed me!”
“He kissed you,” Maddy repeated in a low voice.
“Yes, and Maddy, oh Maddy, it was wonderful!”
“I’m sure it was….”
“I realize every other woman in the entire universe has more experience with men than I do.” If it wasn’t for Matt, she probably wouldn’t care to this day. Being a woman, all that feminine stuff, was something she’d never had any interest in. She’d considered it trivial and, more than that, irrelevant. Most people blamed her father for not seeing to the proper upbringing of a little girl. But that was unfair. Few understood that she’d loved him so much she was determined to fulfill his every wish. Bernard Clemens had wanted a son, so Margaret had spent her entire life trying to be one.
The first time she’d felt a woman’s emotions had been a shock. Matt Eilers was the reason for that revelation. One day she saw him and it felt as if she’d been hit over the head with a frying pan. He was the most gorgeous creature she’d ever laid eyes on and she wanted him in the worst way. Wanted him the way a woman wants a man.
“Now all I think about is Matt’s kiss…except when I’m feeling depressed about my dad.”
“Oh, Margaret…”
“No, listen, I’m happy he did it. Really happy—but I don’t know what it means.”
Maddy didn’t appear to have an immediate answer herself. She kept stirring her tea until any sugar had long dissolved. “I don’t know what to suggest,” she said finally.
“The problem is, I haven’t seen him since,” Margaret murmured, unable to hide how discouraged this made her feel. “Do you think he didn’t like the kiss—that I might have done it wrong?”
“No.” At least Maddy sounded confident about that.
“What should I do?” she asked next. Her friend usually had answers.
“Do?” Maddy echoed, seemingly lost in thought. She set her cup aside and leaned forward, taking Margaret’s hand between both of hers. “Listen carefully.