Always Dakota - Debbie Macomber [81]
“Calla’s a good kid,” Joanie said.
Sarah nodded. “What I really wanted to talk to you about is a day-care center,” she said, diverting the conversation from the uncomfortable subject of her daughter.
“Really? Rachel Quantrill mentioned starting one, too.”
“Did she?” This was welcome news to Sarah.
“There’s definitely a need. I’m driving over to Bellmont every day to drop Jason off with a friend who has a toddler herself. Brandon picks him up in the afternoons, but it’s inconvenient all the way around.”
Sarah had her own concerns. She had to find more employees, and she couldn’t do that unless there was someplace women felt comfortable leaving their children. With orders coming in at such a steady pace, her quilt company was having trouble meeting the demand. But it wasn’t only her business she was thinking of. Within a matter of months, she’d need someplace she could leave her own baby and feel confident that he or she would receive the best possible care.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to Rachel,” Joanie said. “Perhaps we both can.”
“That’d be great.”
Joanie reached for her scone and broke it in half. “I realize you invited me over to discuss day care, but you’re worried about Calla, too, aren’t you?”
Sarah’s distress must be more obvious than she’d realized. A lump thickened her throat and she nodded; it was the only reply she could manage.
“I meant what I said about her,” Joanie murmured.
“She is a good kid, but we just don’t seem to get along,” Sarah whispered, then averted her gaze, embarrassed and dismayed that everything had gone so wrong between her and Calla. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried.” She weighed the advisability of baring her soul to someone she viewed more as acquaintance than friend. But keeping everything to herself, the way she had in the past, hadn’t worked, either.
“Calla feels I chose Dennis over her. You see…” Sarah hesitated. “I wasn’t legally divorced when I first got involved with him and…” She stopped rather than allow her emotion to take control. After a moment to compose herself, she continued. “I know you and Brandon were separated for a while and I’m so pleased you worked out your problems, but—”
“But,” Joanie finished for her, “a reconciliation isn’t always possible. I know that better than anyone. I loved Brandon and he loved me. We had a lot of years and three children invested in this relationship. Neither one of us wanted a divorce, but we simply couldn’t continue the way we were.”
“You see,” Sarah whispered, fearing her voice was about to crack, “I loved Willie, too—or the man I thought he was. I was young and stupid, and in the beginning I put up with a lot more than I should have. I guess I was hoping he’d…change…. It seems ridiculous now, but deep down I prayed he’d realize how much he loved Calla and me. Needless to say, that didn’t happen. When it became obvious that I didn’t have any choice but to leave, I moved home. I should have gone ahead with the divorce then, but I put it off. There were complications with money that made it easy to delay.”
“Dennis didn’t know?”
Admitting she’d lied to him was a painful thing. “I didn’t tell anyone, not even my father. I let everyone assume I was divorced. A few years later—once I started seeing Dennis—I desperately wanted out of the marriage, but by then I was trapped in the lie.” She reached for her tea, humiliated to be confessing her sins.
“Is this why Calla’s so upset with you?” Joanie asked softly.
Sarah shrugged. “Partly. Willie never bothered to keep in touch with her, and because she wanted a father who loved her and cared about her, she built him up in her mind. He became the perfect father—a complete fantasy.