American Outlaw - Jesse James [22]
My mouth hung open and I pointed dumbly to the armoire that was still in her driveway. I was too stunned to even comment on the scene I saw before me. “Your mom . . . bought something.”
As I stood there, staring soundlessly, I recognized the kid on the couch with her. He was a quarterback on an opposing high school’s team. John something-or-other, from Ramona High. I guess I’m supposed to kill this kid, I thought.
But there was no power in my arms or legs. John gave me a so what? look, a tough guy thing, I guess. But I didn’t move an inch toward him. I wasn’t feeling rage or vengeance. I just stared sadly at my girlfriend for a second, who was tucking her shirt back into her pants. Smoothing her hair.
“Jesse . . .” she started, with a pained look, but I cut her off and walked out of her house. I left the armoire standing there in the driveway.
I got back in the truck and started up the engine. For a second, I just sat there, letting the truck idle. Then, slowly, I reversed out of their driveway, and made my way back to the office. There was hardly any traffic on the street; I made every single light.
“That was quick,” my boss remarked. “No lunchtime nookie, huh?”
“No,” I shook my head dully, “not for me.”
——
That evening, I walked over to my dad’s house. I hadn’t been back in almost a year. I stood outside in the street for a while, scrutinizing it carefully.
The house looked surprisingly good. It had a new paint job and a new garage had been tacked on to it. The roof was brand new, covered in red asphalt shingles. From the outside, it almost looked as if nothing was wrong at all.
I stood there in the dark for a long time, shifting from foot to foot. Once in a while, a car would drive by and its headlights would illuminate me. Then they’d be gone.
I screwed up all the courage I had and walked up to the door and rang the bell.
Footsteps came. Nina opened up the door. She surveyed me warily. “What do you want?”
I cleared my throat. “I want to talk to my dad.”
She shrugged at me. “What if he don’t want to talk to you?”
“Just get him,” I told her.
She scowled, then disappeared. After a while, I heard the heavy footsteps that I knew to be my father’s. He appeared in the doorway and loomed down at me. He wasn’t smiling. But then, he didn’t look mad, either. He just kind of stared at me in the face, as if curious to see me standing there, this person who happened to be his son.
“Yeah?”
“I . . .” I felt at a loss for words. “I don’t have anywhere to sleep tonight.”
He nodded, considering. “You want to come on in?”
“You got room for me?” I mumbled.
My dad remained silent for a second, then he spoke. “Why not?”
I stood there on the front mat, my arms folded in front of me. Neither of us looked at each other.
“Well, come on in, already,” he said.
Essentially, I struck a deal with my dad. He and I rarely talked to each other, and we never discussed our fight. But I started getting up early and helping him out. As long as I pulled my weight, helping him load up that truck, he was okay with me staying there.
School was uncomfortable. I’d see Rhonda in the hallways, and now we’d just look through each other. She’d been my roommate, my love. Now we were just strangers again. She never really tried to explain herself to me, and I was grateful for that. I missed her in a huge way, and I missed her mom, too. But it felt like a chapter had ended, so I let it close.
I had to quit over at the furniture store. The place held bad associations for me, but I would have had to quit regardless. My dad needed me all day on weekends. Hello, swap meet city. Felt like I’d never left.
“What’s up, Jess, how you been?” Joey called to me. “Christ, you’re a monster!”
“Heard you been killin’ ’em, Jess!” Ricky yelled. “Hey, big favor, you big fucker, move this crate of Slim Jims for me, would you? I got an interested buyer!”
Soon after I started living with my dad again, football season tapered off. I got several awards, and we made it to the third round of the playoffs before being eliminated. I was all-conference in defense,