American Outlaw - Jesse James [89]
“I know you are,” I said. “We’re going to have the best time. I think we should honeymoon somewhere great, like South America.”
“I will go absolutely anywhere in the world with you,” Janine said. She shook her head. “I . . . I can’t believe it. This has got to be the best day of my life.”
I didn’t tell her about the prenup just then. That came a couple days later.
“Look, don’t take it personally,” I suggested, embarrassed.
“I’m trying not to,” Janine said. She forced a smile, but I could tell she was steaming.
“The thing is,” I said, shamefaced, “I talked to my lawyers about it . . .”
“You talked to your lawyers. That’s just great. That’s just amazing.”
“And they said that it’s smarter to keep our finances separate. You owe the government a whole lot of money, babe. And I have a whole lot of money, now. So if we put our money together, they can come take it.”
“I get that,” Janine said. “I’m not dumb, Jesse.”
I drew her closer to me. “Do you still love me?”
She sighed. “Yeah, of course I still love you. I’m just . . . a little hurt, that’s all.”
I said nothing.
“I thought you were going to take care of me,” she said. “I thought we were going to be a team.”
“We are going to be a team,” I promised.
“So why this prenup?”
“I’m real sorry,” I said, again. “I just . . . it’s gotta be this way, and I don’t know what else to say.”
“Oh, fine,” she huffed. She folded her arms across her chest, and stuck her tongue out at me. “You meanie.”
“I’ll make it up to you, okay?” I said. “We’ll get married in style.”
When Karla and I got married, we were still kind of financially struggling. We’d kept the event real small. This time, however, I wanted to go big. I rented out an immense church and invited everyone we knew. The Discovery Channel decided to record the ceremony for posterity. It was going to be a real California-style fiesta; a coming-out party for the couple made in Biker Heaven: the Porn Star and the Outlaw.
A week before the wedding, Janine and I met with the pastor of the church to discuss the specifics of the ceremony.
“Have you given any consideration to your vows, son?” the pastor asked me pleasantly. He was a gentle-looking old man, with glasses and a well-trimmed white beard.
“I’m gonna make them up as I go along,” I confided to him.
“Are you sure?” He looked concerned.
“I’m kidding.” I laughed. “I have something written out. It’s pretty standard.” I squeezed Janine’s hand. “I’m just happy to be tying the knot.”
“How about you, my dear?” The pastor turned his head toward Janine. “Have you thought about what you might say?”
“I don’t know,” Janine said, sulking.
“Would you like some suggestions?” the pastor asked. “I’ve heard many lovely speeches in my days . . .”
“All I want to know,” Janine interrupted, “is, what am I getting out of this?”
The pastor stared at her. “How do you mean?”
“Well he”—she hooked her thumb at me—“made me sign a prenup.”
The pastor turned his head toward me, as if he were watching a tennis match.
I nodded. “It’s true.”
“So,” Janine continued doggedly, “I would just like to know what I’m supposed to get if this thing doesn’t work out.”
The pastor looked aghast. Janine tapped her fingers on the table. She looked at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.
“God has a plan, my dear,” he managed, finally.
Sitting there that afternoon in the back room of the church, I knew that something was up. A tiny little voice inside of me was pleading, get out while you still can! But I was too stubborn to heed the warning.
As usual, I would learn the hard way.
12
We made our preparations to marry. In honor of the occasion, my wife-to-be tattooed a message onto her left shoulder blade: “I Do,” in curvy script, surrounded by a large red heart. I responded in kind, inscribing her name in large block letters on the back of my left hand.
You know that expression, “I know it like the back of my hand?” It makes less sense now to most people,