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Something similar occurs almost every time you finally reach a human voice after surviving a long “menu of options” on an 800 number and then are told—or you realize—that nothing can be done to resolve your problem, followed by the routine “Have a nice day.”

More recently, this phrase has been reduced to “Have a good one,” only to be topped by the caring TV anchor’s “Have a great evening and a wonderful weekend.”

Another relatively new use of like is to introduce a quotation or a separate clause. Michelle Rhee, the former chancellor of public schools in the District of Columbia, demonstrated such usage in the Washington Post. “When I joined Teach for America,” she wrote, “my parents were like: ‘What are you doing? Get a real job.’”15

Such use of like is further evidence of the fear and timidity gripping so many Americans when they are, like, speaking English. Like it or not, like and you know are here for the long haul.

Even the common verb have done now seems to be in play. For example, Jan Brewer, the governor of Arizona, was quoted in the news in 2010 using have did instead of have done.16 To make sure that no grammar sticklers would accuse the reporter of such a verbal initiative, the paper inserted the Latin term sic to indicate what was actually said. That provoked one reader to ask why the same italic word was not used on the sports pages where athletes have did the same thing.

IS ANYBODY LISTENING?

One of the more versatile words is the simple adverb hopefully, which has become used most often as a conjunction. A typical example is, “Hopefully I’ll see you when I get home.” Grammarians have often objected for various reasons, but they have finally learned that “hopefully” springs eternal.

Even simple negatives can get lost if used too often. That’s what seems to have happened to one of the more popular turnoffs, “I couldn’t care less.” For some reason, the more it’s used, the less negative it becomes. Now, you are more likely to hear, “I could care less,” just the opposite meaning. Yet nobody seems to notice that the revised phrase makes no sense.

Does this mean it’s all right now to talk nonsense because nobody is listening? The answer must be yes if you believe, for example, that “drawing a line in the sand” is somehow an actual threat, as President George H. W. Bush famously did on November 17, 1991, when he used the phrase to threaten military action if Iraq’s Saddam Hussein did not withdraw from Kuwait.

THE NEGATIVE TRIFECTA

Speaking of disposable negatives, the late Rodney Dangerfield made a lucrative career out of superfluous negatives, as illustrated by his theme, “I don’t get no respect.” Sometimes he would go for the negative trifecta by ending the phrase with “no how.” Which raises the question: if two negatives make a positive, what do three create?

His accent on the negative had a positive effect on his career as a humorist. It also helped promote the copycat atmosphere of multiple negativity in the Amglish community.

Simply threatening to draw a line not to be crossed, of course, can be effective, but in the sand—where the next wave or puff of wind could wipe out the line? Not likely. Since then, the nonsensical cliché has proliferated with nary an objection up to the point where it is coming close to having no meaning at all, not because of its lack of logic but because of excessive repetition.

The sand metaphor refuses to fade away. At a press conference on Pearl Harbor Day, 2010, focusing on a tax cut deal with Republicans that few Democrats liked, a reporter asked President Obama, “Where is your line in the sand?” He responded, “Well, look, I’ve got a whole bunch of lines in the sand.” For a brief moment, the emptiness of the phrase seemed apparent. But no, he started to draw a few more lines. Only in Amglish can such a contradiction gain immortality without a fight by the perfection police.

SELECTIVE GRAMMAR

A big key to the success of the new lingo is the natural inclination to follow the crowd rather than to question or doubt someone who is testing a