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By Root 592 0

of Truth is Ahimsa, I shall deem all my labour in writing these chapters to have been in vain. And, even though my efforts in this behalf may prove fruitless, let the readers know that the vehicle, not the great principle, is at fault. After all, however sincere my strivings after Ahimsa may have been, they have still been imperfect and inadequate. The little fleeting glimpses, therefore, that I have been able to have of Truth can hardly convey an idea of the indescribable lustre of Truth, a million times more intense than that of the sun we daily see with our eyes. In fact what I have caught is only the faintest glimmer of that mighty effulgence. But this much I can say with assurance, as a result of all my experiments, that a perfect vision of Truth can only follow a complete realization of Ahimsa.

To see the universal and all-pervading Spirit of Truth face to face one must be able to love the meanest of creation as oneself. And a man who aspires after that cannot afford to keep out of any field of life. That is why my devotion to Truth has drawn me into the field of politics; and I can say without the slightest hesitation, and yet in all humility, that those who say that religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion means.

Identification with everything that lives is impossible without self-purification; without self-purification the observance of the law of Ahimsa must remain an empty dream; God can never be realized by one who is not pure of heart. Self-purification therefore must mean purification in all the walks of life. And purification being highly infectious, purification of oneself necessarily leads to the purification of one's surroundings.

But the path of self-purification is hard and steep. To attain to perfect purity one has to become absolutely passion-free in thought, speech and action; to rise above the opposing currents of love and hatred, attachment and repulsion. I know that I have not in me as yet that triple purity, in spite of constant ceaseless striving for it. That is why the world's praise fails to move me, indeed it very often stings me. To conquer the subtle passions to me to be harder far than the physical conquest of the world by the force of arms. Ever since my return to India I have had experience of the dormant passions lying hidden with in me. The knowledge of them has made me feel humiliated though not defeated. The experiences and experiments have sustained me and given me great joy. But I know that I have still before me a difficult path to traverse. I must reduce myself to zero. So long as a man does not of his own free will put himself last among his fellow creatures, there is no salvation for him. Ahimsa is the farthest limit of humility.

In bidding farewell to the reader, for the time being at any rate, I ask him to join with me in prayer to the God of Truth that He may grant me the boon of Ahimsa in mind, word and deed.

* * *

Endnotes

*

[1] Literally freedom for birth and death. The nearest English equivalent is Salvation.

Table of Contents

AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY

Contents

Translator's Preface

Introduction

PART I

I. Birth and Parentage

II. Childhood

III. Child Marriage

IV. Playing the Husband

V. At the High School

VI. A Tragedy

VII. A Tragedy (Continued)

VIII. Stealing and Atonement

IX. My Father's Death and My Double Shame

X. Glimpses of Religion

XI. Preparation for England

XII. Outcaste

XIII. In London at Last

XIV. My Choice

XV. Playing the English Gentleman

XVI. Changes

XVII. Experiments in Dietetics

XVIII. Shyness My Shield

XIX. The Canker of Untruth

XX. Acquaintance with Religions

XXI. 'Nirbal Ke Bala Rama'

XXII. Narayan Hemchandra

XXIII. The Great Exhibition

XXIV. 'Called', but then?

XXV. My Helplessness

PART II

I. Raychandbhai

II. How I Began Life

III. The First Case

IV. The First Shock

V. Preparing for South Africa

VI. Arrival in Natal

VII. Some Experiences

VIII. On the Way to Pretoria

IX. More Hardships

X. First Day in Pretoria

XI. Christian Contacts

XII. Seeking Touch with Indians

XIII. What it