An Awfully Big Adventure - Beryl Bainbridge [43]
‘I’ve no wish to sound insulting,’ Geoffrey said, ‘but I hardly think anything you could do would upset Meredith.’ He watched her trembling lip, and added, ‘You shouldn’t put him on a pedestal. He’s not trustworthy. Windsor Rep sacked him, you know. He was an actor then . . . in the same company as Bee’s Knees O’Hara.’
‘Considering your low opinion of him,’ she snapped, ‘I’m surprised you spend so much time with him.’
‘It’s only pub friendship,’ he said, and flushed.
‘I wish I was older,’ she said. ‘I wish I knew how to tackle him. I know exactly what words to use but when I’m with him I can’t get them out. Nobody’s ever silenced me before.’ She was near to tears and relishing the feeling in a sad sort of way.
Suddenly Geoffrey said, ‘I’m not sure I shall stay in the theatre. I might take my father’s advice and go into business.’
‘Silly ass,’ she said. ‘What would you want to do that for?’
‘I’m out of my depth. I don’t really understand them. They tell you important things, things you want to hear, and five minutes later they can’t remember what they’ve said. I’m only here because my uncle’s chairman of the board.’
‘I’m only here because of Uncle Vernon,’ Stella said. ‘He and Rose Lipman’s brother courted the same girl, only Mr Lipman won. I suppose he felt guilty.’
She thought Geoffrey looked neglected. His shirt wasn’t clean and he had the beginnings of a pimple at the corner of his mouth and another about to burst above the knot of his cravat. He needed a mother.
‘I’ll never give up,’ she said. ‘I’ve nowhere to go except Woolworth’s.’
‘Don’t you ever have doubts?’ he asked. ‘Don’t you ever wonder whether it wouldn’t be easier to do what’s required of you?’
She wasn’t sure she understood. They had marched along different paths. Uncle Vernon required something of her, but his expectations were similar to her own. ‘I never doubt myself,’ she said. ‘Only other people.’
They returned to the warehouse and stood back as a boy carrying a sheet of glass under his arm came down the stairs. He was wearing outsize boots without laces. He tripped on the bottom step and, losing one boot, lunged forwards, cartwheeling across the pavement on that deadly crutch of glass. A man on the other side of the road raised his hat to a passing lady and distinctly said, ‘Grand day for the time of the year’, after which the boy fell down. He lay perfectly still, brows arched in surprise, bare toes quivering as the blood drained out of him.
Stella and Geoffrey went back to the theatre without collecting the paint. Within ten minutes of their arrival everybody knew what had happened. Babs Osborne said it was odd the way Stella was always around when tragedy struck. She didn’t mean to be tactless.
Freddie Reynalde urged Stella to blot out the memory of what she had seen. She must bear in mind she was in control of the pictures in her head. It was rather like being in charge of Tinkerbell, in that she was the one flashing the torch. What she must do, he maintained, was to substitute one image for another. He knew what he was talking about, having witnessed a man die from a heart attack while forking manure. She should swop the boy on the pavement for an empty room painted white, or possibly a vase filled with lilies.
‘I wish you hadn’t mentioned that,’ she said. ‘I’m very suggestible. Now all I can see is a room filled with cow muck.’
St Ives was particularly affected by the incident. ‘Dear God,’ he said, ‘why does life have to be so bloody awful’, and he blew his nose emotionally. Dotty wasn’t there to cosset him, and presently he went upstairs to the wardrobe, where Prue made him a cup of tea.
The afternoon rehearsal started late because Meredith was at a working lunch in Rose’s office. When he did arrive he strode across the stage and pushed his way through the pass door without a word.
Stella thought the play peculiar. Considering it was meant for children it was surprising how many of the characters were unpleasant, even Tinkerbell, whom she supposed was some sort of bad fairy. And though at first it was quite funny, knowing