An Engagement in Seattle - Debbie Macomber [109]
Truth demanded a price and being honest with herself had taken its toll on Lesley all week. First, she’d been forced to admit she still loved Tony, despite all her efforts to put him out of her life. It was hopeless, useless and masochistic. She didn’t need Daisy to tell her she was setting herself up for heartache. Not when she could see it herself.
Despite the temptation, she hadn’t returned Tony’s calls. However, it wasn’t her sense of honor that had prompted her forbearance, nor had it been her sense of right and wrong.
Good old-fashioned fear was what kept her away from the phone. Fear of what she might do if Tony admitted he’d made a mistake and wanted her back in his life. Fear of what she might become if he came to her, claiming he loved her, needed her.
On the heels of this painful insight came the news of Lori’s engagement. Now she and Jo Ann were the only two single women left at the school. And Jo Ann didn’t count, not technically.
Jo Ann had separated from her husband a year earlier and she’d taken back her maiden name. But recently they’d been talking. It wouldn’t surprise Lesley if the two of them decided to make another go of their marriage.
Now Lori was engaged.
“Larry wants a short engagement, which is fine with me,” she was saying. “I’d like it if we could have the wedding before school starts this fall, and he’s agreed. You’ll be one of my bridesmaids, won’t you?”
“I’d be honored.” That would make six times now that Lesley had stood up for friends. What was that old saying? Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. It certainly applied in her case.
In the fall she’d be returning to the same school, the same classroom, the one directly down from Tony’s. April’s class was on the other side of the building. They’d all return, enthusiastic about the new school year, eager to get started after the long break.
Tony would glance at her with that special look in his eyes and she wouldn’t be able to glance away. He’d know in a heartbeat that she still loved him, and worse, so would April and everyone else on staff. That humiliation far outweighed the likelihood of being the only unmarried faculty member.
Lesley knew she never should’ve let Tony talk her out of transferring to another school. Perhaps she’d asked for another assignment just so he’d beg her to stay; she didn’t know anymore, didn’t trust herself or her motives.
“Larry talked to my dad and formally asked for my hand in marriage,” Lori was saying when Lesley pulled her thoughts back to her friend. “He’s so traditional and sweet. It’s funny, Les, but when it’s right, it’s right, and you know it in your gut. It wouldn’t have mattered if we’d dated three months or three years.”
“Hadn’t you met Larry a while ago?”
“Yeah. Apparently. He’s a friend of my brother’s, but I don’t remember meeting him until this spring, although he claims I did. He pretends to be insulted that I’ve forgotten.”
Lesley smiled. Lori’s happiness sang through the wire like a melodious love song, full of spirit and joy. They spoke for a few minutes longer, of getting together with three of Lori’s other friends and choosing the dresses, but it was all rather vague.
Jealous. That was how Lesley felt. Jealous of one of her best friends. She hated admitting it, but there was no other way to explain the hard knot in her stomach. It wasn’t that she wished Lori and Larry anything but the best.
But her feelings were wrapped around memories of the past, of standing alone, helpless and lost. Abandoned.
When she finished talking to Lori, Lesley called a florist friend and had a congratulatory bouquet sent to Lori and Larry with her warmest wishes.
Housework, Lesley decided. That was what a woman did when she suffered from guilt. It was either that or bury herself in a gallon of gourmet ice cream. She stripped her bed, stuffed the sheets in the washer and was hanging them on the line when Eric and Kevin found her.
“Is Chase coming over today?” Eric wanted to know.