An Engagement in Seattle - Debbie Macomber [40]
As Julia silently opened the door and stepped inside, she felt tears burn the backs of her eyes. Her grandmother appeared to be asleep. Ruth’s face was pale, but she seemed more at peace now, as if the pain had passed.
Tentatively Julia stepped over to her grandmother’s bed and took her hand. She held it to her own cheek and pressed it there. Slowly Julia closed her eyes.
As soon as she did, it felt as if Ruth were awake, waiting to speak with her.
“Don’t be sad,” Ruth seemed to be saying. “I don’t want you to grieve for me. I’ve lived a good, long life. You were my joy. God’s special gift to me.”
“No, please,” Julia pleaded silently. “Don’t leave me, please don’t leave.”
“Julia, my child. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t cling to the past. Look instead to the future. You have a husband who adores you and children waiting to be born. Your life is just beginning. So much love awaits you, more joy than you can possibly imagine now. Your pain shall reap an abundant harvest of life’s treasures. Trust me in this.”
“Treasures,” Julia whispered. She couldn’t look past the present moment to think about the future. Not when her heart was breaking.
Tears ran unrestrained down her face and she felt her grandmother’s presence reaching out to comfort her, a last farewell before she set out on the journey before her.
Julia didn’t know how long she stood there, holding on to Ruth’s hand. She realized as she looked up at the monitor registering her grandmother’s heartbeat that it had gone silent. Ruth had quietly slipped from life into death with no fuss, no ceremony, as if she’d been awaiting Julia’s arrival so she could leave peacefully.
Julia had known it would be impossible to prepare herself emotionally for this moment. Ruth’s death wasn’t a shock; she’d been ill for years. Julia had been aware that each day could be her grandmother’s last. She’d accepted the inevitability of Ruth’s passing as best she could. But nothing could have prepared her for the grief that slammed against her now. Nothing.
Collapsing into the chair, Julia cried out, the sound a low, anguished wail as she swayed back and forth.
A nurse came, so did a doctor and several other health professionals. Julia didn’t move. She couldn’t. The sobs racked her shoulders and she hid her face in her hands. And slowly rocked with grief.
Someone led her from the room. She sat in the private area alone, desolate, inconsolable.
Jerry and Alek arrived together. Jerry spoke with the hospital officials while Alek wrapped Julia in his arms and held her against him as she wept until she had no more tears.
She needed him and was past pretending she didn’t. Her own strength was depleted. Clinging to Alek, she buried her face in his chest, seeking what solace she could. When her father died, she’d been numb with guilt and grief. The tears hadn’t come until much later.
He held her close and she was grateful for his comfort, for his willingness to share her grief.
They seemed to be at the hospital for hours. There were papers to sign and a hundred different decisions to make. Jerry went with her and Alek to the funeral home, where arrangements were made for Ruth’s burial.
Julia was surprised by the calm, almost unemotional way she was able to deal with the details of the funeral. The flowers, the music, discussing the program with first the funeral home director and then the family’s minister, Pastor Hall.
It was dark by the time they’d finished. Jerry, solemn and downcast, walked out to the parking lot with her and Alek.
“Do you want to come back to the condo with us?” Julia asked, not wanting to leave her brother alone. Unlike her, he’d return to an empty house. Ruth’s death had shaken him badly. He didn’t express his grief as freely as she had.
Jerry shook his head. “No, thanks.”
“Anna has dinner ready and waiting,” Alek said.
“I’ll pick up something on the way