And Baby Makes Two - Dyan Sheldon [45]
“That’s going to make conjugal visits a little dodgy, isn’t it?” asked Gerri.
“Come on.” I grabbed hold of her and Amie and tugged. “Let’s go back to the living-room. We’re going to wake her up.”
They’d all been oohing and aahing right over the cot, and we’d had a whole conversation right over her head, but it was the really soft shutting of the bedroom door that woke her. Click went the door and the next sound was Shinola Spiggs going off like a car alarm.
“Geez,” said Gerri. “Is there a pin in her or something?”
I rolled my eyes. “Pampers don’t have pins. She must’ve heard the door and it woke her up.”
“Does she always scream like that?” asked Amie.
“Do you want me to get her?” asked Shanee.
“She’ll be all right. I’ll put on some music, it’ll help her sleep.”
I put on an Oasis CD and made us all some tea.
Gerri started telling me about her new boyfriend. He was a bicycle courier and had a terrific body. Plus, he was gorgeous. Plus, he made good money.
Shinola kept crying, but the Gallaghers’ whining was pretty good at blocking her out. You could only just hear her under the music. Shanee glanced towards the hallway a few times, but I pretended I thought Shinola had gone back to sleep and Shanee didn’t say anything.
I started really enjoying myself again. Only now I didn’t feel grown up, like when I talked about having Shinola. I just felt like me.
Amie had a part-time job in one of the pizza places on the high street. The boss was a miserable old git, but the tips weren’t bad.
Shinola kept crying.
Shanee stood up suddenly. “I think we’d better get going.” She looked towards the hall.
“You don’t have to go so soon,” I said. I grabbed the pot from the table. “Why don’t I make us all more tea?”
Gerri and Amie both looked at Shanee.
“I’ve got stuff to do, too,” said Gerri.
Amie winked. “And I’m expecting an important call.”
That meant a boy.
I had to stop myself from shoving her back in her seat. “He’ll call back,” I insisted. “Just have another cup of tea.”
“Next time,” said Gerri.
Amie nodded. “Yeah, next time, Lana.”
“Why don’t you go and get the baby,” said Shanee. “We can let ourselves out.”
I watched the three of them leave the house from the front window. They didn’t even look back to wave goodbye. They were laughing and talking as though they couldn’t hear Shinola from the road. I knew that they could from the times that I’d left her to ring Les from the phone box so Hilary wouldn’t see the number on the phone bill. You could hear her from the high street.
I watched them all go off towards Shanee’s and I wondered if there would ever be a next time. And then, instead of going to Shinola, I burst into tears myself.
A Job for Life
Although Les came round every couple of days before work, he was so busy after being on holiday that it was October before we finally managed to have lunch.
It wasn’t the best day to take Shinola out. I knew that. It was really cold for October and it was pouring down. But I wasn’t going to let a bit of bad weather put me off seeing Les.
Plus, I was really bored of being at home on my own all the time. Shanee was always busy with school and stuff, and, when she did come round, Shinola was always up and squawking so we could never really talk. Amie and Gerri never bothered coming round after that first time at all. They had more important things to do.
Anyway, I was so busy with everything else I had to do that I hadn’t made any more bottles after Shinola had her breakfast. Plus, I wanted her to wear the red and blue tartan dress Shanee gave her, but the tartan dress was still in the laundry from the last time she wore it. So, because of having to make her a couple of bottles, and wash and dry the dress, it took ages to get us ready.
As I was running late, I had to put my eye make-up on with one hand while I held Shinola on my hip with the other. She squirmed and gurgled so much that I ended up with one eye that looked naked and one eye that looked like someone’d punched me, and tears in both. I wiped off as much of the extra as I could.
“It’ll have to