Andy Rooney_ 60 Years of Wisdom and Wit - Andy Rooney [1]
Savings, 127
The Art of Living 129 Being With People, Being Without, 129
Finding the Balance, 130
The Truth About Lying, 132
The Sweet Spot in Time, 134
Life, Long and Short, 136
The Glories of Maturity, 138
Plain-Spoken Wisdom 141 Trust, 141
Intelligence, 143
Directions, 145
The Quality of Mercy, 147
Morning People and Night People, 149
The Sound of Silence, 151
The Search for Quality 153 Where Are All the Plumbers? 153
On Conservation, 155
Design, 157
Contents vii
Quality? 159
Signed by Hand, 161
Loyalty, 163
On Home and Family 166 A Nest to Come Home To, 166
Real Real Estate, 168
Home, 170
Struck by the Christmas Lull, 172
An Appreciative Husband’s Gratitude, 174
My House Runneth Over, 177
Mother, 179
Grandfatherhood, 181
Simple Pleasures 184 A Trip to the Dump, 184
Vacation, 186
Napping, 188
Wastebaskets, 191
Wood, 193
An All-American Drive, 195
Christmas Trees, 198
Oh, What a Lovely Game, 200
The Urge to Eat 208 Ice Cream, 208
The Andy Rooney Upside-Down Diet, 210
Thin for Christmas, 212
The Urge to Eat, 214
Sodium-Restricted Diet, 216
On People and Places 218 Thanks, Pal, 218
Frank Sinatra, Boy and Man, 220
E. B. White, 222
Lonnie, 224
The Godfrey You Don’t Know, 225
Harry Reasoner, 231
viii Contents
A Best Friend, 233
The Flat Earth in Kansas, 234
Surrendering to Paris, 236
No, Thank You 239 Waiting, 239
Hot Weather, 241
Neat People, 243
Driving, 245
The White House? No, Thank You, 248
The Agony of Flight, 249
Appendix:
The Following Things Are True 253
Ninety-Nine Opinions I’m Stuck With, 255 Dislikes, 263
Rules of Life, 265
The Following Things Are True, 267
The Following Things Are True About Sports, 273 “Happy Holiday” Doesn’t Do It, 276
The More You Eat, 278
Life as I See It: Rooney’s Witticisms 281 Credits 285
Timeline
January 14, • Andrew Aitken Rooney is born in Albany, New 1919 York, to Walter Scott and Ellinor Rooney.
1932–1938 •attends The Albany Academy
• writes for student magazine The Cue
1938 –1941 • attends Colgate University in Hamilton, New York, where he becomes editor of Colgate’s magazine The Banter
1941 • drafted into the Army, heads to training in Fort Bragg, North Carolina, followed by Camp Blanding, Florida
• arrested outside St. Augustine, Florida, for sitting in the back of the Army bus alongside African American soldiers
1942 • marries Marguerite Howard
• arrives in Perham Downs, England, with the 17th Field Artillery
• joins the Armed Forces newspaper The Stars and Stripes in their London office
• meets United Press reporter Walter Cronkite, Stars and Stripes correspondent Don Hewitt (who would become the executive of 60Minutes), and Edward R. Murrow
1943 • flies with the Eighth Air Force on the second American bombing raid on Germany x Timeline
1944 • lands on Utah Beach in Normandy, three days after D-day
• encounters Ernest Hemingway at hotel outside Paris and finds him ill-mannered
• enters Paris with the French Army the day the city is liberated from Germany
• Air Gunner (written with Bud Hutton) is published
1945 • discharged from the Army
1946 • The Story of the Stars and Stripes (written with Bud Hutton) is published
• MGM buys movie rights to The Story of the Stars and Stripes for $55,000 (Rooney and Hutton are hired by MGM to work on the script)
• assigned by Cosmopolitan to cover postwar Europe with Bud Hutton in ten pieces
1947 • returns to Albany, New York, and embarks on a freelance career
• Conquerors’ Peace: A Report to the American Stockholders (written with Bud Hutton), which derives from the Cosmopolitan assignment, is published
• daughter Ellen Rooney is born
1949 • joins CBS as a writer for megawatt radio and TV personality Arthur Godfrey; writes for The Arthur Godfrey Talent Scouts and Arthur Godfrey Time until 1955
1950 • daughters Emily and Martha Rooney are born
1951 • son Brian Rooney is born
Timeline xi
1952 • begins his love affair with woodworking
1957 • adapts E. B. White’s essay “Here is New York” for TV
1959 –1965 • writes for The Garry Moore Show, for Victor