Andy Rooney_ 60 Years of Wisdom and Wit - Andy Rooney [125]
No. 6: CHICKEN. Chicken not only tastes good but it’s also cheap and can be cooked in a thousand different ways. It can be baked, fried, deep-fried, stewed or broiled. It’s the best leftover you can have in your refrigerator.
No. 7: STEAK: I’m embarrassed to have it on the list but can’t leave it off.
No. 8: POTATO. The taste of potato isn’t good or bad until you do something with it. You can bake potatoes, mash them, boil them, fry or deep-fry them. You can scallop them and if you’re good in the kitchen, soufflé them.
No. 9: PASTA. If you have a variety of pastas in the cupboard, you never have to worry about dinner. You can find something in the refrigerator or in the pantry to go with whatever pasta you have on hand. Just don’t overcook it.
No. 10: RICE. Rice is on my personal ten best foods list. Basmati rice is best.
No. 11: ONION and GARLIC. I know I said ten, but I can’t leave either of these out.
Maybe this was a bad idea. I’m up to eleven and I haven’t mentioned the tastes of orange, lemon, tomato, strawberry, peanut or egg. I haven’t even mentioned two of the world’s great tastes: vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce or a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich—without chocolate sauce.
Life as I See It: Rooney’s Witticisms
—At about age forty, each of us should resolve to throw out or give away one book for each new book we acquire.
—It’s a good thing we can take as much pleasure from oldness as newness because, for the most part, we have to live with more oldness.
—It isn’t working that’s so hard, it’s getting ready to work.
—Being broke is a terrible feeling but it’s probably an experience everyone ought to have once in a lifetime.
—There are idiots who will buy anything as long as it costs enough.
—I had all of my accidents when I was driving carefully.
—The thing that keeps most of us from feeling terrible about our limited intellect is some small part of our personality or character that makes us different.
—You don’t have to say everything to a friend for both of you to understand what you mean.
—I like animals who trust people.
—No machine can help anyone write.
—If I reach into my pocket to pay for something and pull out a handful of change that turns out to be mostly pennies, I get discouraged about life.
—Soothing music sets my nerves on edge.
—There’s nothing that keeps you in touch with supply and demand and the sensitive balance of our earth better than knowing firsthand that there’s a limit to how much you can take out and how much you can dump back into it.
—Travel is an escape from all your pressing problems. That’s why we’re so willing to give it our complete attention.
—I prefer cigarette smoke to perfume.
—My idea of heaven would be to die and awaken in a place that has all my lost things.
—Too many people get stuck doing the same dull thing all their lives without ever finding out whether they have the ability to do something else.
—One of the healthiest things for any community is a post office where everyone comes to pick up the mail.
—What I want, if any of you medical scientists are reading this, is a small pill that can be taken once a day before dinner, with a martini, that will cure anything I already have and prevent anything I might catch in the future.
—There’s nothing more satisfying than getting mad.
—There’s nothing much worse than lying awake in the middle of the night, staring at your life.
—I have never met a cat I liked.
—America’s contribution to mankind has been the invention of mass production.
—Everyone should think twice before making a noise.
—There are some ideas I stick with even though I’m vaguely aware that I may be wrong.
—I’d like to put an end to all tipping but I don’t dare start the movement myself.
—There are a few moments in our lives that should be preserved for ourselves alone, and breakfast is one of them.
—I’d prefer than no one put flowers on my grave if I have one. I don’t like the idea of flowers dying on top of me.
—Trying to