Angel Kiss - Laura Jane Cassidy [21]
Were never meant for me.
When I think about it
I shouldn’t ache so bad.
How can I miss something
That I never had?
Standing in this prison,
I helped create my cell.
How can a thing from heaven
Make my life a hell?
My heart’s in little pieces;
I must be going mad.
How can I miss something
That I never had?
Yes. I’d definitely made the right decision not showing it to him.
It started to drizzle so I gathered my things and put them in my bag. I was glad the oak tree provided some shelter. I wanted this moment to last, so I closed my eyes. He loves me, he loves me not, he really hoped I could make it, he loves me, he loves me not. I stayed there for a few minutes, lost in my thoughts.
It was just a slight summer shower, so when it was easing off I got up and followed the path round to the water fountain on the other side of the oak tree. I watched the raindrops splash into it, joining the water that trickled down through the grey stone. The sound of the water had a wonderfully calming effect. I noticed there was a little brass plaque at the bottom of the fountain. Stepping closer I could see that the engraving on it read:
In memory of Beth Cullen, who spent happy times here.
There was that name again. If there was a fountain dedicated to her, she must have been very special. Her family must really miss her, I thought as I left the garden and headed back to the caravan.
Chapter 7
What does one wear to a Friday night table quiz in a parish hall? I wondered. I’d already spent almost two hours that evening trying to answer the question, and now I was running out of time. I wanted my style to be distinctive but understated. It was important to make an impression on Nick, but it should also look effortless. At the moment it looked like my suitcase had exploded, as I flung clothes all over the caravan.
‘Jacki, will you come on? We’re going to be late,’ said Mum.
‘OK, OK, I’m nearly ready.’ Mum had got dressed in five minutes and looked perfect. She hardly spent any time on make-up whereas I couldn’t go outdoors without eyeliner I felt so bare without it. My eyeliner had gone missing now and it took me about ten minutes to find it. And I still couldn’t decide what to wear. Nothing looked right, nothing matched. Hannah and I usually got ready for important things together: we’d made a pact after the leggings incident of 09. They’d looked good in Teen Vogue, they’d looked good on the hanger, they had not looked good on me. After Hannah experienced a similar incident with denim hot pants, we’d made the pact. Mum was no help – she just said everything looked lovely. Maybe I could visit Dublin for a weekend soon … Hannah could come shopping with me. Clearly I desperately needed some new clothes.
I finally settled on my skinny jeans and white tank top with the gold detail and buttons down the front (top two left open). I quickly brushed my hair, lined my eyes black and slipped into my grey boots. I stuffed only the essentials – my purse, my phone and a stick of blood-red lipstick – into my black shoulder bag.
I stole one final glance in the bathroom mirror before following Mum out of the caravan on to the damp grass. It hadn’t rained again but the sun was still hidden behind grey cloud. A light breeze carried us down to the village. Mum pulled her pink cardigan tighter round her shoulders as we dodged the puddles of rainwater dotted along the winding road. Avarna was beautiful in the daytime, but it was lovely in the evening too. It was so peaceful.
‘You can be on our team if you want,’ said Mum. ‘A few other teachers from the school are going too.’
‘It’s OK. I already have a team.’
‘Oh, really?’
‘Nick from the shop asked me to join his. They were one short.’
‘Nick from the shop, eh?’ Mum stopped walking and gave me a quizzical look.
I couldn’t stop my cheeks from going red.
‘So that’s why you took so long to get ready.’
‘He has a girlfriend,’ I said, walking ahead.
‘Minor obstacle.’
‘Mum!’ I squealed, and we both laughed.
As we neared the parish