Angel Kiss - Laura Jane Cassidy [44]
‘If I listen, if I find out … will she go away?’
‘Once this spirit gets help she’ll move on. But …’ Ger let his sentence trail off, and avoided looking at me. This worried me a bit.
‘But what?’ I said.
‘Well … I wouldn’t be surprised if something like this happens again in the future. It seems that a unique path has been chosen for you.’
I sighed as I imagined a lifetime of headaches and visions and nightmares.
‘You can’t ignore this any more. It’s like driving along a road and completely disregarding the markings … eventually you’re going to get hurt.’
More hurt than I already was? I could take the headaches and the nightmares, but last night had been unbearable. I didn’t want to go through something like that again. Was Ger saying I had no choice? That I’d been chosen to do something, and that I had to accept whatever consequences came with it?
‘What if I can’t work it out?’ I said. Just because I was prepared to accept that a spirit was contacting me, didn’t mean I would suddenly get any better at figuring out what she wanted.
‘You will. I know you will.’
Ger stood up and walked over to the bookshelf. He took down a small black book and handed it to me. MASTERING PSYCHIC PROTECTION was printed on the cover in tiny gold letters.
‘I think you should read this,’ he said.
‘Is this to protect against the spirits?’
‘Yes, but it will also help you learn how to defend yourself from people on this side. Here, the demand for the truth never quite matches up to the supply. Some spirits want to get their message across, but often there are people who don’t want that message revealed.’
I took the book from him.
‘You can choose to block this out, Jacki, choose to ignore it as you have been doing, but you do so at your own risk. If you don’t start accepting who you are now, your health will just continue to get worse.’
Even though it was hard to believe, I was feeling better already.
‘Thanks. I’m sorry for, well, you know … for being so rude earlier,’ I said.
‘It’s fine,’ he said. ‘I understand. I’m not interested in trying to convert sceptics. People can believe whatever they want. And people can deny this stuff all they like … But as you know, when it’s staring you in the face, it’s very hard to get away from it.’
I felt guilty. Jane had been staring me straight in the face and I had explained her away. I tried to remember her features, but they were just a blur. Ger handed me another tissue and I wiped my face again. I’d been in such a rush that I’d forgotten to put on make-up and now must have looked a state, my bare face all red and puffy. The relief I felt meant that the tears just kept coming. I hardly ever cried; this was really not like me.
‘How did you find out you had this ability?’ I asked, trying to divert attention away from me as I pulled myself together.
‘I sort of always knew I could do it. I just wasn’t able to accept it. Or, rather, wasn’t willing to accept it. It’s not an easy thing to do, to acknowledge that you’re different. I ignored it for years. I was very sick, in and out of hospital all the time. I’d been to see different doctors, but none of them seemed to be able to diagnose my condition. It baffled them. I went to a specialist in Dublin, and he said, “I think we both know what’s wrong. You have a gift, and you’re not using it.” The specialist’s grandfather was a healer too. He told me that the kind of healing I do can be traced right back to ancient Ireland. He gave me his grandfather’s number, and it took off from there. I haven’t been back to hospital since.’
‘So what am I? I’m not a healer.’
‘No. But you do have the ability to connect with spirits. You can be whatever you want to be, just as long as you remember to use your gift. You don’t want to suppress it. You don’t want to end up like I did.’
‘Can you talk to my dad again?’
‘I’m afraid not. I think your dad must have been worried about you. Maybe he needed you to believe what was going on. Communicating with spirits who are at rest is extremely difficult and can be highly dangerous. It should only