Angel Kiss - Laura Jane Cassidy [50]
I thought about it for a moment. To my surprise, my sense of duty to Jane was just enough to sway me.
‘Fine, I’ll go then,’ I said. ‘But only for a little while.’
I was actually a little excited that Emily’s dad was a historian. If there was someone called Jane from Avarna who had been murdered, then he’d surely know about it.
I went to meet Mum for lunch in the Cupcake Café. I was early so I thought I’d use a computer for a while. Mary was sitting at one of the tables with her eight-year-old daughter, Rosie, who I’d heard all about on one of my visits to the shop. I smiled at them as I walked towards the bathroom. I wanted to see if Jane would come back.
I stood behind the door, whispering her name over and over. Deep down I knew she wasn’t coming back. Not yet anyway. The eerie sensation of the other day just wasn’t there any more. I hated the thought of her being stuck in that in-between stage, slipping back and forth between this world and whatever was waiting for her in the next. I wanted her to come back. I wanted to tell her that I was going to find out who’d murdered her, no matter how long it took. I tried to imagine her, tried to remember even the slightest detail from our encounter. She had black hair – that’s all I knew.
I eventually gave up, but there was still no sign of Mum so I logged on to a computer. I searched jane murdered avarna and all its variations but found nothing. I wasn’t too disappointed though. I was hopeful that Emily’s dad would be able to give me some information, or at least point me in the right direction.
So I just messed around for a bit. Emily had uploaded pictures from the gig in Sligo the night before. I clicked through the photos, smiling at the ones of Emily and the lads pulling stupid faces. But I didn’t smile at the next one. I recognized his red hoodie immediately. There he was … eating the face off some blonde girl. She was wearing a slutty belly-top and his hands were all over her.
I felt sick … so confused, jealous, angry. I logged off and just needed to get out of there.
‘Ali, if you see my mum would you mind telling her that I had to leave early? Thanks,’ I said, before hurrying out of the café, slamming the door behind me. I was definitely forgetting about him now.
As I hurried home, I felt angry and upset, but at the same time I felt a strange sense of relief. Nick had found someone else. I could forget about him now. I could stop thinking about him all the time. I could stop obsessing about how I was going to explain myself to him. This was exactly what I needed. I didn’t need anything distracting me from my duty to Jane. Being crazy about someone was a distraction. A horrible, unhealthy distraction. I was done with boys. It always, always ended badly. I didn’t need them in my life. Or else, I’d keep them there, but never get attached. I’d be like Hannah: always the dumper, never the dumpee. Always the one to turn them down, never the one sitting staring at the phone, waiting for them to text. I’d be the one who’d forget to text them back. I’d be the one who forgot their birthdays, forgot their numbers, forgot their names even. I picked a yellow flower from the ditch and ripped off the petals one by one. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. Unfortunately, with every petal plucked, my initial rage started to dwindle. And it was just replaced with hurt. But the thought of Nick with that girl was enough to at least dull my obsession. Although I knew I wasn’t going to be able to forget about him, I was at least going to try.
Chapter 15
I spent that evening in the caravan making flyers. I wanted Mum to think I was at least interested in finding something to do for the summer. Besides, I could really have done with the extra cash. Freelance ghost whispering wasn’t proving the most lucrative occupation. And I needed to keep my mind as far away as possible from you know who. I finally finished the flyers, managing to get glitter-glue everywhere in the process.
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