Angels Everywhere - Debbie Macomber [167]
“You were right,” she said with a sadness that was nearly his undoing. “I had to come. A hundred times I told myself the best thing for both of us was if I stayed away. What have you done to me, Joshua? What have you done?”
It was difficult not to pull her into his arms and comfort her. It was what he wanted. His heart was full, spilling over. The fact that his love brought her unhappiness wasn’t lost on him. In time he’d make up for the unpleasantness he’d caused her. If only she would be patient, he’d prove to her she’d made the right decision.
“I think we should talk this out,” she suggested. She seemed to harbor the hope that they could sit across from each other and reason away their mutual attraction. It wasn’t as simple as that, but she’d need to reach that realization herself.
“All right.” He sought nothing more than to be with her. It wouldn’t have mattered what they did. In many ways, he felt he was already fully acquainted with Hannah. He knew he loved her. He knew he wanted her to be his wife and the mother of his children.
How or when he’d come to realize all this, he couldn’t answer. He was a man who dealt with facts, who argued cases. A man who generally was uncomfortable defining feelings. But when it came to Hannah Morganstern, Joshua found he was an expert on identifying his emotions.
“Come on,” he said, tucking her hand in the crook of his arm. “I’ll buy us a cup of hot chocolate.”
A fragile, tentative smile touched her mouth. Her beautiful, kissable mouth.
“I’m beginning to think we’re both a little nuts,” she said.
“I couldn’t agree with you more, but it’s a good kind of crazy. Being with you makes me happy, Hannah. You’re beautiful and generous and loving.”
She lowered her head, uneasy with compliments.
Joshua found a table, and after she was seated, he walked over to the refreshment booth and bought two steaming cups of hot chocolate.
When he returned, she glanced up at him shyly. “The most amazing thing happened this evening.”
“Oh?” He sipped from the edge of the paper cup, the steam wafting upward.
“When I told you I couldn’t meet you, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to. Carl had asked me to attend the candle-lighting ceremony with him. It’s the first day of Hanukkah,” she told him unnecessarily.
“I know.”
“I knew there wasn’t any way I could possibly break our date. Then at the last minute Carl phoned. He came down with the flu.”
That explained why Hannah was late. She’d been at the synagogue with her family and then rushed from there to Rockefeller Center.
“When I left in such a hurry, I’m sure my parents thought I was going to see Carl . . . instead I’m meeting another man.” Sadness coated her words. It was clear she hated deceiving those she loved.
“I’m sure that given time, your family will learn to like me as much as they do Carl,” he assured her gently. He regretted bringing the other man into the conversation. It seemed they spent half their precious time together discussing the rabbi’s son.
Hannah’s gaze drifted to the ice skaters and then back to him. “I hardly know you myself.”
“Ask me anything you like,” he invited her.
“You’ve never married?”
“No. I’ve been waiting for you, Hannah Morganstern.” By the way the color drained from her face, Joshua realized he’d said the wrong thing. He didn’t mean to rush Hannah. Because he was confident didn’t mean he had to get cocky.
“I’m engaged to Carl,” she whispered. “Doesn’t that matter to you?”
“It matters a great deal.” He wasn’t going to lie. When she’d told him, he’d been both frustrated and angry. Later he’d realized just how fortunate it was that they’d met before the wedding. “I figure I found you just in time.”
He didn’t ask her if she felt the same way. Didn’t bombard her with questions. That wasn’t necessary. He already knew. She felt everything