Angels Everywhere - Debbie Macomber [225]
“No,” Hannah whispered.
She was too late. Joshua had found someone else.
Mike Glasser was buried two days later. Father Grady was scheduled to say the funeral mass and had spent considerable time counseling Mike’s mother, Louise.
Brynn was one of the first to arrive at the church. She slipped into the pew and knelt down on the padded kneeler. Since hearing the news, she hadn’t cried. It might have helped if she’d been able to release her grief, but she held on to it with both hands, clenching it to her breast, fearing what would happen if she ever let go.
Mike’s death was a constant, painful reminder of how badly she’d failed him and her other students. How badly she’d failed herself.
Emilio walked into church and sat in the pew directly across from her. Yolanda and Pearl arrived together and sat in front of Brynn.
The huge church was nearly half full with a number of other students and faculty members from Manhattan High. Mike’s suicide had had a powerful impact on those who’d known him.
Organ music, deep and somber, filled the church. Mike’s mother and a handful of other relatives arrived. Together they walked down the center aisle. Louise Glasser’s shoulders were bent under the weight of her grief. She appeared to be leaning heavily on the girl walking beside her. The two clung to each other. It didn’t take Brynn long to realize the one with Mike’s mother was Suzie Chang. They needed each other.
Brynn had met with them both, separately. They’d come together as strangers with a common bond. Both had loved Mike. Both deeply grieved his death.
Organ music surged through the church as a man’s voice, hauntingly melodic, rang loud and clear from the choir loft. The voice, a baritone, reached out and consoled with music those who’d gathered to mourn Mike’s death. Brynn recognized the singer’s voice immediately.
Roberto.
Even from this distance his voice filled her with a bitter sadness. It settled in the pit of her stomach, and a chill came over her as she closed her eyes and soaked in the comfort of the song. She pretended it was Roberto’s arms around her.
Since her last meeting with Roberto, Brynn had tried to push all thoughts of him from her mind. By the sheer force of her determination, she’d partially succeeded. Despite her efforts to purge him from her thoughts, she couldn’t keep from feeling that something important, something vital, was missing.
Once, a year or so before, Brynn had lost her purse. A knot had formed in her stomach that refused to go away until she was able to replace everything that had been lost. A similar sensation had been with her since her last meeting with Roberto. She was lost, and the way she felt just then, nothing would ever be right again. She supposed her thinking was melodramatic. In time she’d be able to put these weeks in New York behind her.
As Roberto had encouraged her from the beginning, she would return to where she belonged. But she wouldn’t go back to Rhode Island the same as when she’d left. No, when she headed home, she’d be bringing a lot of emotional baggage with her.
Father Grady said the mass. A wake was scheduled in the parish hall immediately following the service. Brynn knew she was expected to show. It was as good a time as any to tell her students that she wouldn’t be back in class following winter vacation. Already they’d been assigned another teacher, one with more experience than she.
Most of Brynn’s apartment was packed. Depending on road conditions, she should be ready to leave in another day, two at the most.
When the service was over, Mike’s family filed out first, then each row followed in turn.
Brynn stayed behind. She wanted a few moments alone before she headed over to the parish hall. With her head bowed, she tried to pray. Lately it had been a losing battle. Every concern she gave to God had claw marks all over it.
Not only had her abilities as a teacher been questioned, but her faith, once so stable and sure, had been badly shaken. She recognized