Angels Everywhere - Debbie Macomber [38]
Reaching out, she traced her fingers over the outline of his jaw, waiting for the swell of emotion that generally accompanied such moments. To her surprise none came. Not guilt. Nor doubt. Jeff smiled benignly out at her and perhaps it was her imagination, she was sure it must be, but he seemed to approve of Glen, approve of the job she’d done raising Timmy. It seemed he was telling her that even in death he would always love her.
Leah heard the door shut. Andrew had returned after being away most of the day. She closed her eyes, and took a moment to compose herself before she faced her husband. He was right and she knew it. Having a child had become an obsession with her, so much so that she was systematically destroying the most important relationship in her life.
Stepping out of the kitchen, she watched as Andrew sat down in front of the television and reached for the remote control.
“I . . . I thought that must be you,” she said, which sounded silly since it couldn’t have been anyone else.
“As you can see, it’s me.” His words were as stark and cold as they had been earlier. It wasn’t a good sign.
“Can we talk?” she asked, tentatively stepping into the room.
“I don’t know that there’s anything more to say.”
The fact that they were having this conversation with his back to her said far more than any words they might have spoken.
“I’m sorry, Andrew,” she whispered, struggling not to break into tears. She hated any kind of discord between them. They’d always been so close, she didn’t think anything could destroy their love. She feared now that she might be wrong.
“You’ve already apologized, you don’t need to do it again.” The newsclips from the game between the Seattle Seahawks and the San Diego Chargers were playing and the noise of the game filled the room.
Leah, who was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, wiped her hands against her thighs. “I was hoping we could talk,” she said, lowering herself onto the far side of the sofa across from him.
“Leah, listen,” Andrew said sharply, “I’m not good company at the moment. If we’re going to talk it should be when we’re both in the right frame of mind.”
She could never remember Andrew being like this. They rarely disagreed and when they did, both were eager to resolve their differences.
“When do you think you’ll be in the right frame of mind?” she asked, swallowing her pride.
“I don’t know. I just need some time to put my thoughts together. I probably shouldn’t have come back to the house, but it’s damn cold and I wasn’t keen about spending the rest of the day and evening sitting in my car.”
“Of course you should have come back here. I’m glad you did. Do you want me to get you a cup of coffee? Some dinner?”
He shook his head. “What I’d appreciate more than anything is some time to myself.”
“Sure,” she said, scooting off the leather sofa, “whatever you want. Take all the time you need. I was thinking of going out anyway.”
He acknowledged her with an abrupt nod and continued to stare at the television screen. “That sounds like a good idea.”
So he wanted her to leave, was willing for her to go. Leah hadn’t realized how deeply she’d injured Andrew’s pride or how she’d weakened the foundation of their marriage. It came as a painful shock.
He didn’t say anything more to her when she left. Leah went about gathering her coat and purse as if she were going on an outing she’d looked forward to for weeks. Humming softly she called out cheerfully, “I won’t be late.”
Not knowing where to go, Leah drove around for an hour before heading toward Pam’s house. Her college friend knew there was something wrong the minute she opened the door. Not that Leah would have been able to hide it.
“Leah,” Pam said, alarm filling her eyes. “What happened?”
Unable to speak, Leah shook her head from side to side.
“Come inside. I’m sure it’s nothing a long talk and a strong