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I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. Sometimes silence is the best you can do. Then I thought of something worth saying. “Liking rough sex doesn’t make you a freak.”

He looked at me.

“It doesn’t,” I said, and I felt myself begin to blush.

“It’s not my thing, Anita. It just doesn’t move me.”

“Everyone has things that do it for them, Edward.”

“Rough does it for you?”

“Sometimes.”

“When a kid is abused, they can react a lot of different ways; two of the choices are that they identify with the abuser and become abusers, or they embrace the role of victim. He didn’t embrace the role of victim, Anita.”

“What are you saying, Edward?”

“I don’t know yet. But his therapist says that he’s also identified with his savior, you. He has another option besides just victim or abuser; he has you.”

“What does that mean, he has me?”

“You saved him, Anita. You took off the ropes, the blindfold. He’d just had the first sex of his life, and he looks up and sees you.”

“He was raped,” I said.

“It’s still sex. Everyone likes to pretend that it’s not, but it is. It may be about dominance, and pain, but it’s still sex. I’d take it away, make it so it never happened, but I can’t. Donna can’t. His therapist can’t. Peter can’t.”

My eyes were burning. Damn it, I would not cry. But I remembered a fourteen-year-old boy who I’d had to watch be abused on camera. They’d done it so I’d do what they wanted. Done it to prove that if I failed them, I wouldn’t be the one who suffered. I had failed Peter. I had saved him, but not in time. I had got him out, but not before.

“I can’t save him, Anita.”

“We already saved him, as much as we can, Edward.”

“No, you saved him.”

I realized in that one statement that Edward blamed himself, too. We’d both failed him, then. “You were saving Becca at the time.”

“Yes, but what that bitch did to Peter is still happening. It’s still inside him, in his eyes. I can’t fix it.” His hands clenched into fists. “I can’t fix it.”

I touched his arm. He flinched but didn’t pull away. “You don’t fix shit like this, Edward, not outside television sitcoms. In real life you don’t fix this. You can make it better, you can heal, but it doesn’t just go away. Real life doesn’t fix that easy.”

“I’m his father, or all the father he has. If I don’t fix it, who can?”

“No one,” I said. I shook my head. “Sometimes you just accept your losses and move on. Peter’s scarred, but he’s not broken beyond repair. I’ve talked to him on the phone, I’ve looked in his eyes. I see the person he’s becoming, and it’s a strong person, a good person.”

“Good.” He laughed and it was a harsh sound. “I can only teach him what I am, and I’m not good.”

“Honorable then,” I said.

He thought about that, then nodded. “Honorable. I’ll take that, I guess.”

“Strong and honorable is not a bad legacy, Edward.”

He looked at me. “Legacy, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“I shouldn’t have brought Peter.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

“His skills aren’t a good match for this job,” he said.

“No,” I said, “they aren’t.”

“You can’t send him home, Anita.”

“You’d really rather see him dead than humiliated?”

“If you humiliate him, it will destroy him, Anita. It will destroy that part of him that wants to save people and not hurt them. If he gives up that part of himself, I’m afraid that all that will be left is a predator in training.”

“Why do I feel like you’re leaving out stuff?”

“Because this is the short version, remember?”

I nodded, then shook my head. “Jesus, Edward, if this is the short version, I’m not sure my nerves can take the long one.”

“We’ll keep Peter in the background, as much as we can. I’ve got more backup on the way, but I’m not sure they’ll get here in time.” He glanced at his watch. “We’re running out of time.”

“Let’s do this.”

“With Peter and Olaf?” He made it a question.

“He’s your kid, and Olaf is good in a fight. If Olaf gets out of hand, we kill him.”

Edward nodded. “My thought, exactly.”

I wanted to let it go, God knew I did, but I couldn