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By Root 7213 0

held me, and I let him, because if I’d pulled away now, the whole show would have been wasted. I’d hung around the lycanthropes long enough to understand what was happening. Nathaniel, my submissive Nathaniel, was stepping up to bat. He was showing the most dominant person in my bed that he was a force to be reckoned with. Why tonight? Why did Nathaniel have to draw his line in the sand tonight? The baby, of course, the baby. Something about the whole baby question had made Nathaniel feel like he had to be more dominant. Or maybe he, like me, was just tired of watching Richard say he was the dominant sweetie in my life, but acting like he was my fuck buddy. Nothing wrong with a fuck buddy, but you can’t be the love of someone’s life and a fuck buddy. They are mutually exclusive.

Nathaniel held me, and I wrapped my arms around him, hidng my face against his chest, because I wasn’t sure what expression was on my face. Nathaniel had stood up to Richard and won. What else was going to change just because of the possibility of a baby?

“I’ll take Valentina. You guys stay and talk business.”

“You’re part of the business,” Micah said from behind us.

“But you can fill me in later, and I’m not really going to have an opinion on the vampire stuff.” He grinned. “I’m also the least likely to object to anyone Anita is willing to take as a pomme, or a lover.” He kissed me on the forehead, and whispered, “Besides, Valentina doesn’t bother me.”

I looked up at him. “And that bothers me a little, that you’re not creeped.”

The grin softened to a smile. “I know.” He kissed me on the mouth, soft, gentle. He pulled away, and I let him go, still not sure what had changed in him.

Valentina came to him, and he took her hand. He began to lead her toward the far hallway. She looked back and stuck her tongue out at us.

Claudia sent Lisandro to accompany them. Aloud, she said, “Make sure Bartolome isn’t doing anything he shouldn’t.” But I was pretty sure after Valentina’s show with Sampson, she just didn’t trust any of the non-vamps alone with her. Me, either.

17

“HOW CAN YOU love him?” Richard asked.

I turned to look at him. He stood, shoulders hunched, rubbing his hands up and down his arms, as if he were cold. But I knew he wasn’t cold, or at least not the kind of cold that blankets and skin warmth could fix. It was a coldness of the heart, or the soul, or the mind. That cold that eats a hole through the middle of who you are, and leaves something dark and awful behind.

I looked at him, and wondered how to answer his question. How to answer without making the pain in his body worse. I sighed, and finally realized that the only thing I could give him was the truth. Whatever we were to each other, whatever else we might someday be to each other, truth, at least truth, was between us.

“I asked you a question,” he said, and his power warmed the room like opening an oven to peek inside. The heat dissipated almost as soon as I’d felt it. He was trying to control himself.

“Why do I love Nathaniel?” I asked.

“That’s what I asked,” he said, in that angry voice.

“Because he never makes me feel like a freak.”

“Because he is a freak,” Richard snarled. “Anyone looks sane beside him.”

I felt my face shutting down. Felt that flatness that I used when I was really pissed and trying to control it.

“Perhaps this is not the time for this conversation,” Jean-Claude said in a careful voice.

We both ignored him.

“First,” I said in a very tight, careful voice, “Nathaniel is not a freak. Second, he’s willing to disrupt his entire life if he got me pregnant, and you’re not. So I’d be careful before you throw stones at his character.”

“If you’re pregnant, I’ll marry you.”

The room was suddenly full of one of those silences so thick you should have been able to walk across it. I stared at him for a second, or two, then said, “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Richard, is that all you think it takes to fix this? Marry me so the baby won’t be a bastard, and it’s all better?”

“I don’t see anyone else offering marriage,” he said.

“It’s because they know