Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Colletion_ Books 11-15 - Laurell K. Hamilton [785]
“My reasoning about what, ma petite?”
I walked toward him, talking as I moved. “All the reasons for me to feed from Requiem now. All the reasons why you’re so nervous about Asher being able to capture me with his gaze.” I was in front of him now, and realized that he must have moved back from the bed at some point, and I didn’t remember him moving away. I’d been too caught up in Asher’s eyes. “Just tell me. I promise not to panic. I promise not to run away. Just talk to me like I’m a reasonable human being.”
He gave me a look, and it was an eloquent look. He let me watch thoughts chase over his face, but finally he said, “Asher is correct, ma petite; you ask for truth, but you often punish us for telling it.”
I nodded. “I know, and I’m sorry about that. All I know is that I’ll try to stop being a pain in the ass. I’ll try to listen, and not overreact.”
“Good intentions, ma petite, but you do know the old saying.”
I nodded, again. “Yeah, the road to hell is paved with them, I know.” I touched his arm where it lay folded across his chest. Even his body language had closed down. “Please, Jean-Claude, I feel like we don’t have time to play to my insecurities. If we crash this weekend with all the other masters here, I don’t want it to be because you were afraid to be honest with me. I don’t want the disaster to be my fault. Okay?”
He uncrossed his arms, and touched my face. “So sincere, ma petite. What has come over you?”
I thought about that, then said it, out loud. “I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
I put my hand on his, pressing his touch against my face. “Of failing us all, just because I didn’t want something to be true.”
“Ma petite, that is not it, not entirely.”
I looked away from those suddenly knowing eyes of his. “I think it’s the baby thing.” I made myself meet his eyes. The gentleness in them was both easier to meet and harder. “If we really are going to do this, keep the baby, then we have to make this work. We have to make it all work. I don’t have the luxury of being a pain in the ass, if it’s going to get us hurt.”
“You find out but hours ago, and you are suddenly more willing to compromise.” He looked at me, considering, serious, tender, all mixed together. “I am told that pregnancy changes a woman, but so quick as this?”
“Maybe I just needed a wake-up call.”
“Wake up to what, ma petite?”
“I keep telling Richard I’ve accepted my life, but he’s right, I’m still hiding from parts of it. You”—and I looked at Asher then—“are all still tiptoeing around me afraid of what I’ll do, aren’t you?” I turned back to Jean-Claude. “Aren’t you?”
“You have taught us caution, ma petite.” He tried to hug me, but I stepped away.
“Don’t comfort me, Jean-Claude, talk to me.”
He sighed. “You do realize, ma petite, that these demands for complete honesty that come over you from time to time are another way of being a pain in the ass?”
I had to smile. “No, I hadn’t realized that. I thought this was being reasonable.”
“Non, ma petite, this is not being reasonable. This is another way of being very demanding.”
“Well, hell, then tell me what to do, because I don’t know how to be anything else.”
“You are a high-maintenance item, as they say, ma petite. But I knew that before we became a couple.”
“You’re saying, you knew what you were getting into.”
He nodded. “As much as any man can when he decides to love a woman. There are always mysteries and surprises in every love affair. But, yes, I had some idea what I was getting myself into. I did it willingly, eagerly.”
“The difficulties were outweighed by what, the power you might gain?”
He frowned at me. “See, already you grow angry. You do not want truth, ma petite. You do not want lies either. You leave us all with no clue to what will take us safely through your rocky shoals.”
“I’ve never heard you use a sea metaphor before.”
“Perhaps seeing Samuel reminded me of my voyage