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“She didn’t want to intrude on our date.”

“She thought you and Micah were escorts, and that I was paying you for the evening.”

“The last time she saw me that’s what I was doing for a living, Anita.”

“I know, I know. She passed you her number because she wanted to see you again, and the old number wasn’t working. You’re right, she was polite about it.”

“I told her I was on a date-date, and she was embarrassed.”

I still remembered the woman. She’d been slender and elegant and old enough to be Nathaniel’s mother. Thanks to Jean-Claude I knew clothes, and she’d been wearing expensive ones. The jewelry had been understated, but very nice. She was one of those women who headed charity balls and sat on committees for the art museum, and she’d been hiring male prostitutes young enough to be her son.

“I think what bothered me about her was that she didn’t look like someone who would…”

“Hire an escort,” he finished for me.

“Yeah.”

“I had a lot of different kinds of customers, Anita.”

“I figured that.”

“Did you, or did you try never to think about it?”

“Okay, the latter.”

“I can’t change my past, Anita.”

“I didn’t ask you to.”

“But you want me to quit stripping.”

“I never said that.”

“You’re embarrassed by it, though.”

“For God’s sake, Nathaniel, let it go. I’m embarrassed about being up on stage myself. I’m embarrassed that I fed on you in public.” I gripped the steering wheel so tight it hurt. “When I fed the ardeur off you that night, I fed off the entire audience. I didn’t mean to, but I fed on their lust. I felt how much they enjoyed the show, and I fed on it.”

“And you didn’t have to feed again for twenty-four hours.”

“Jean-Claude took my ardeur and shared it around among you guys.”

“Yes, but he thinks that one of the reasons he was able to do that is that you fed off the crowd, and me. I loved that you marked me in front of the crowd. You know how much I loved it.”

“Are you saying that if I hadn’t gone up on stage and accidentally fed from the crowd, the ardeur would have gotten out of control in the middle of that serial killer case?”

“Maybe.”

I thought about that for a second as I drove. I thought about the ardeur going out of control in a van full of cops, Mobile Reserve cops, our answer to SWAT. I thought about the ardeur getting out of control while I was in a nest of vampires that had killed over ten people.

“If that’s true, then why didn’t Jean-Claude try to get me down to the club again?”

“He’s offered.”

“I’ve refused.”

“Yeah,” Nathaniel said.

“Why tell me now?”

“Because I’m mad at you,” he said. He lowered his head on top of the box in his lap. “Because I’m mad that our date is ruined. I’m mad that some metaphysical crap is going to ruin our almost-anniversary.”

“I didn’t plan this,” I said.

“No, but your life is always like this. Do you have any idea how hard it is to have a normal date with you?”

“If you don’t like it, you don’t have to stay in it.” The moment I said it, I wished I hadn’t, but I didn’t take it back.

“Do you mean that?” he asked, in a low, careful voice.

“No,” I said, “no, I don’t mean it. I’m just not used to you picking at me. That’s usually Richard’s job.”

“Don’t compare me with him. I don’t deserve that.”

“No, you don’t.” Richard Zeeman had once been my fiancé, but it hadn’t lasted. I’d broken up with him when I saw him eat someone. He was the head of the local werewolf pack. He’d broken up with me when he couldn’t handle that I was more comfortable with the monsters than he was. At the moment, we were lovers, and he was finally letting me feed the ardeur off him. I was his girlfriend in the preternatural community, lupa to his Ulfric, and he wasn’t shopping to replace me in that part of his life. He was shopping for a completely human woman to replace me in the part of his life where he was a mild-mannered junior high science teacher. He wanted kids and a life that didn’t include full moons and killer zombies. I didn’t blame him completely. If I’d had an option for a normal life, I might have taken it. Of course,